Growing Pains
by Penn Langley
Summary: Her mother once told her that everyone had the four elements in them. Too much fire made you angry. That was her father when he played Pai Sho with General Iroh; quick to rise when he lost. Too much air and you bent easily to force. Like Anna. Too much earth and you never bent to fate. This was Zuko who stalked the earth, drawing his own destiny. Fem!Harry
1. Dead End

_Many moons will lighten the way_  
 _And sure this night will follow a day_  
 _And everything you once loved remains_

 _Unbroken, Birdy_

* * *

Anna does not remember much of her pervious life. Sometimes it comes in flashes, a flash of green and a woman's scream, a hall with the night sky as it's ceiling, a golden ball fluttering before her face, a faceless man with red eyes. There is warmth in her memories but it warps into a darkness so deep she can no longer find herself. The clearest of memories is a wand snapping in two, a stone falling to the ground, a silver cloak wrapped around her shoulders that shines like the stars.

* * *

Anna Zoeller grows up in Shu Jing, 500 miles east of Caldera City, in a cliffside estate with her father. Shu Jing is a painter's paradise, an author's muse, and a nobleman's retreat. Hills and cliffs are covered in glittering emerald grass. Tiny houses made of white stone that glimmer like pillars of marble, bright red flags hanging like nooses from lampposts, a shadow growing up above as death's hands seize the mountain top.

The estate she lives in smells of jasmine, the outer wall are made of gleaming marble with shiny red shingles line the rooftop. Books are strewn throughout the house, on top of tables and trunks and floors. Anna's dolls stand silent on the kitchen table still dressed in rags of tattered lace.

Her earliest memories are the sparest. Lines stretching from church doors to the road outside of town, windows boarded up, men brawling over the last loaf of bread, which sells for two gold coins. Flu enters every house in winter, death following soon after. Meat comes only from the men hunting in the forests. Milk is a memory. On the worst days, her mother boils potato peels and they eat the broth. Her father always gives her half.

None of this matters to Anna. Her eyes and heart are hungry for the world. She devours it whole. Every morning her mother wakes her up to say goodbye to her father. Her eyes blink wearily through sleep, her thin blue blanket hanging around her shoulders like a cape, her father kneeling in front of her. His eyes crinkle when he smiles, a strong hand guiding her into a warm hug.

"What will it be today?"

"A pink one, please, daddy." He laughs. He pulls her close, lips resting on her forehead, eyes shining bright. He whispers for only her to hear, "For you, the world and nothing less." He sends her off promises of another smooth pebble that gleams like glass in his eyes.

Afterwards, when he's gone to ask for a day's work, when he's busy hunting down her meaningless treasures, she sits with her mother in the garden beneath the sweet summer breeze. Sometimes she draws. She saves a single piece of charcoal to draw on scraps ripped from the backs of books. She dreams of fog filled mornings, of buildings pressed against one another to fend off the cold, of iron rising in the skyline. She does not tell her mother of the fires she's seen burning through Ba Sing Se and Omashu. She draws the cities whole, bridges connecting on the over walls, people drinking tea in the afternoon sun.

Other days, she spends hiding in the trees. Worms crawling over her toes as she digs her feet into the soft dirt. Fireflies coming out at dusk, dancing around her head. Anna doesn't know how it happens. She's lying on the ground, the sun in her eyes, her mother humming a tune near her. There's a pleasant buzzing beneath her skin, fire crawling up her arms, a whisper in the air and then it's in her hand. It waves in the wind, ebbing with life immeasurable. Her mother stutters, a yell escaping her mouth as she rushes forward. On her knees in front of Anna, she looks on as Anna builds the flame higher and lets it float out in front of her. Her mother's face is full of childish excitement, eyes wide, lips pulled into a grin so big her face aches.

"Again, do it again," her mother watches in awe as Anna lights all the lanterns in the garden before putting them out. There's a shriek of laughter as her warm arms encompass Anna holding her tightly. Anna leans into the embrace, smelling the cherry blossom that lingers on her mother's skin.

"I love you so much," she whispers in the dark. Warmth blossoms in Anna's chest and a knot grows threatening to make her cry. The faceless woman is back, flowering behind her eyes but Anna pushes her away. This is real and warm and alive.

"I love you too, mom."

* * *

At night she dreams of the other world. The women's hair is a brilliant red, less flame and more burning lava. There's a girl with dark skin and wild hair whose eyes go bright as she gestures towards a book, the redhead next to her laughs heartily at something she says. Anna doesn't know how it's possible but her heart aches for these strangers. She wakes up gasping when the girl falls towards the ground, a burning castle behind her.

Another nights it's a man with shaggy hair and a brilliant, taunting grin. Lights hit the back walls and a woman with coiled hair piled atop her head chases after her. A shadowy veil stands in front of her, whispers leaking out in a jumbled mess. The man falls; grin fading before he's gone. Anna screams.

* * *

In the evenings she shows her father how easy it is to make light from fire. She burns crisp white paper, watching as it rises in the air slightly before falling. She sits watching her father's steady hands mold new life into steel as they listen to her mother read the paper. Her father prefers the rich stories of generals and soldiers fighting in the Earth Nation. Anna likes listening to her mother's soothing voice transform as she read plays. A man writes rapt with wonder, containing a strength that Anna has never heard from another person. " _Is it possible_ ," he asks, " _that the people of the Fire Nation are rising anew? Courage and conviction and loyalty grow in the hearts of everyone. Is it not time that we stand together, aided by faith in the Fire Lord, to rid ourselves of foreign enemies_?"

Anna sees the newfound faith in the Fire Nation. Her father comes home earlier, happier. Unemployment drops as the war effort grows anew, her neighbors get a dog and come home wearing robes of silk. There are men that come in fancy carriages, polished gold. They buy homes; their children swim in the lakes before they disappear back into the city. Duck and chicken and goose- things Anna hardly remembers appear on the table. Father buys her new dresses made of blue silk, pearls lining the collar.

One day, her mother wakes her up early, before the sun has streaked the sky with light. There's a new dress on her bed, pale pink silk that floats like a cloud. She dresses her as she struggles to stay awake. Dress, stockings, coat. Anne does not question her mother as she fixes her hair into a neat braid. Her father wanders around the house, suitcase in hand as he pulls pictures off the wall. He carries her half asleep into a carriage. Her eyes are closed before it starts to move, rumbling like a giant beast breathing in night air. When she wakes, her father's coat is wrapped around her smelling like pine trees and smoke. Her father sits beside her, a glass full of amber in one hand and his voice a soothing rasp. Her mother's head rests on his shoulder, her hair fanning out behind her like rich honey.

There's a man dressed in a sharp suit, a red that seems to suck the light out of the room, a black band is tied around his arm.

"Daddy?" she questions, her voice cracking sharply. The man turns, black hair gleaming in the light. Fresh ashes and coal and the stones around a volcano. A shadow is the only thing she can think of.

"I am here."

"Where are we?" Her father's hand strokes through her hair, undoing her braid. Anna struggles to keep her eyes open.

"We're going to the Capital. I've gotten a new job."

"Will we be there soon?" she mumbles, slipping quietly into the black abyss of sleep. She doesn't hear her father's reply.

* * *

She is nine when she meets the Prince. It is a blurry memory, more dream than remembrance. His eyes are a warm gold that crinkle when he smiles, his hand tugging at hers. Anna is entranced when he makes a wisp of fire in his palm before gently pushing it into her hands. It's hot and angry in her tiny hands. Magic but, stronger. It is alive with power, nothing like the flames she makes. Hers are a gentle, summer breeze, the sun in spring. The Prince is winter winds, harsh and bitingly cold, a fire eating wood and melting stone. He smiles and Anna smiles back, a wide toothy grin. She doesn't know what to name this feeling.

Full.

She feels full.


	2. In the Light

_Time, give me my yesterdays_  
 _Save it for all you had in your eyes, I have gone away_

 _In the Light, The Lumineers_

* * *

"To whom do we owe our loyalty, our strength, and our pride?" the man stands at the front, his Fire Nation uniform, creaseless and bright. Anna watches the other children that stand straight, pillars of steel stuck in their spines. Her father's hand is tight on her shoulder and when she looks up she sees the strained smile on his face.

"To the Fire Lord," the students repeat, in a perfect unison that only comes from practice. She can feel her mother shuffling behind her, the children standing unblinking; a soldier's tune playing in her head. This is startlingly familiar, an ache in her left hand that leaves her scratching at an invisible scare. _I must not tell lies._

Her father guides them out of the room, blank eyes promising nothing, pleasant smile directed at the principal of the school.

"We'll be back," he lies, her mother stifles a laugh. Anna hopes the school burns down. The capital is nothing likes she's imagined it. It's small and cramped, full of nobles trying to get the better of each other. It's a city of blind people who see the war as nothing but a map lined with toy soldiers. Anna remembers the ache in her belly, the gnawing hunger, and thinks these people soft, docile.

"What a bunch of losers," her father says a mocking smile on his face as he performs a fire nation salute. He looks silly in the stiff, red uniform. The gold threading that lines the crest on his left breast is the only thing that Anna likes about the uniform. A dragon, their family crest. It's like looking at the sun rising.

"Can you imagine doing that everyday? My arm would fall off."

"I think, I'd barf," her mother replies.

"I'd faint."

"Die and I'll make sure they write that it was because of my devotion to the Fire Lord."

"And what about your dear husband?"

"If he knows what's good for him, he'll be dead right after me."

"Hear that, Anna. Your mother's going to kill me." Anna laughs a loud bubbly sound that echoes through the courtyard. Years later when she remembers this, she'll think of the wrinkles on her mother's face caused from years of laughter, her father's hand enclosed in hers. She'll think that this was happiness, undiluted by loss, untouched by the knowledge of pain.

* * *

The palace is big. It sits in the middle of the crater, spreading outward until its edges touch the corners. Gleaming shingles line the roof, columns of deep red glided with gold, a courtyard with smooth pale stones sits in the middle. There are trees everywhere, cherry blossoms lining garden paths, flowers blooming in the depths of winter. It is a firebender's retreat, a fortress, and a home to the Prince and Princess. Anna cannot imagine living in it.

Her father is dressed in a new uniform, a deep black suit lined with silk. A General's garbs. Their dragon is still there, a bright sliver that stands out amongst the coal black wool. It is a sign of their return, a rebirth after years of exile. Her mother's hand is sweaty in hers, a nervous tremor running through her body. Anna isn't scared. She thinks it's because of the man in her dreams, the one that hunts her to the ends of the earth, to the brink of death. This lord, Lord Ozai, can only kill her. There is nothing else he can take. Nothing, at least, that hasn't been stolen before.

Prince Zuko waits for her in the gardens. Her mother is hesitant to let her go but the gleam in Anna's eyes is enough for her grip to lessen. She thinks that Zuko has been waiting for her. His hesitant smile greets her, as she gets closer. There is no one else there other than servants tending to the plants. She has yet to meet his sister.

In these early days of friendship the Prince is quiet. He lets Anna talk to her hearts desire. He listens as she describes her old home, the commoners that were as close as blood, the wide expanse of green that made up her home. It is odd for Anna to talk so much. She finds it enjoys it more than she thought she would. She does not ask why he glances warily toward the dark halls of the palace. She imagines his sister stalking the halls, a dragon looking for a hunt. She will not give it to her.

* * *

It is when Zuko falls, when his ankle give out twisting to the side, that it happens. Anna is the first near him, his mother sitting too far away. Her dress is stained green as she kneels to the ground, her hands pulling him up until he's sitting.

This is not fire, not warmth and sun. This is power, lightening in her bones, and magic in her blood, strong enough that it rips through her body. She feels it again, that buzzing beneath her skin, like something is living inside of her trying to get out. Her hands are at Zuko's ankle, a gentle pressure pushing past the pain. She feels the burning in his leg, gold at the edge of her eyes before it all fades away. She blinks, swallowing back tears. He's fine, his ankle no longer at an inhuman angle, his cries silenced. It's as if there was no fall. Anna sees it now. She knows how longing has turned into truth.

His mother kneels down next to them as Anna helps Zuko up.

She looks at the prince, meeting his stunned eyes. There is awe plastered over his face, hidden in the lines by his lips, swirling in the amber of his eyes. He can't tell. She whispers it in her head, over and over, hoping he hears. Her lips are a tight line, frozen shut with the realization of what she's done, of what they can make her do.

* * *

The nightmares come worse. Sirius and Hermione and Ron. Lists and lists in her head. Dead and not dead. It is all her old life amounts to. Magic and horror and hunger and death. She doesn't want it. In her dreams the cold, smooth stone rests in her hand. A black so deep, it is an absence of light. Even the gleaming streaks of moonlight bend around it. She turns it thrice. It is not Lily Evans, she sees. She doesn't know who this is. A strong jaw, broad nose and wide lips. He looks familiar but Anna cannot place his face. She can't remember if he's from that world or this one. She wakes in a cold sweat, water dripping down her face, something heavy in her hand. She doesn't open it.

* * *

"How did you do it?" he asks, the second they are alone. Anna glances at him, the baby fat around his jaw, the determined edge in his narrowed eyes. She doesn't want to lie. Not to him.

"I don't know," she shrugs. The letter is clear in her mind. Parchment and thick green ink. Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

"Are you a waterbender," Zuko leans in closely, his nose nearly pressed against hers and whispers, "Are you the avatar?"

"Don't be stupid," she snaps, pulling away. "I don't know how it happened. It just did."

"I won't tell anyone," his eyes are wide, honest, mouth held in a tight line. Somehow she knows she can trust him.

"I can do other things too," she offers, watching the Prince lean forward in excitement. Her hands wrap around the green blub of a flower. Spring has not yet hit the Capital and everything is stuck in the void of space between living and dying. Her fingers tingle, the blood freezing and then rushing forward. When she opens her hand the blub has bloomed into a white flower with five petals. She hands it to the Prince.

"You can't tell."

"I won't," he swears. He never does.

* * *

She spends her afternoons with Zuko, sometimes he teaches her new firebending techniques but mostly they play around with Anna's powers. She knows somewhere deep in her mind what she can do. She makes flowers bloom, change colors, close up and fly away as butterflies. There's a sense of wonder surrounding the blossoming garden. She feels finally like a child, playing with her new friend, having little secrets between them, giggling behind columns as they play tricks on his cousin. Zuko is fun. He is her first friend.

"What are you doing," she asks, walking towards the small pond Zuko sits by. The water is a cool, clear blue. It shimmers in the summer sun like glass. Zuko glances at her, smile tugging at his lips as he hands her a piece of bread.

"Feeding the turtle ducks. Here try," he breaks off a piece, throwing it towards the ground gently. Anna watches, seeing the bright yellow feathers of a turtle duck emerge from the trees. They are small with dark green shells on their backs and small rounded beaks. She repressed the urge to squeal. Anna follows Zuko's example tossing them some bread and watching as they crowd around her hand.

"They're so cute," she tells the prince with a laugh.

"Wait, until their mother gets here. It won't be cute anymore," he catches the look on her face. Bright eyes, gold like honey or amber in the sun, and a smile on her pink lips that exposes the slight gap in her teeth. Her glasses sit on the edge of her nose, until she pushes them up glancing at him. He turns away, bright pink blooms on his face.

"Thanks for this," she says, breaking the silence. Zuko glances at her in surprise before a soft smile graces his face. He doesn't look much like a prince here. He's just a boy, feeding ducks like his mother taught him too. It is that boy that Anna loves most of all.

* * *

It is a memory that blossoms behind her closed eyes. A warm hearth, red cozy armchairs, a lion banner hanging above the mantel and in the corner is a large tree covered in shiny baubles. A rush of excitement travels through her body, forcing her legs down the stairs. No one had ever gotten her a gift. Ron is there, a large red sweater on his body, a huge R in the middle of it. He hands her one too, a deep maroon with a gleaming, gold H knitted onto the center. It's ghastly but her body sinks into the soft wool. There are presents beneath the tree. Books, from Hermione. Chocolate and candy, from the twins and Neville. She has never been happier. She has never wanted to cry more. The last gift is wrapped in brown parchment, a note tucked into the twine. _Use it well_ , it reads.

She rips off the wrapping paper, more curious than ever. Inside is a cloak that feels like water beneath her fingers. It looks like a star plucked from the sky, a slivery material that shines.

She pulls the silver cloak around her shoulders, hearing Ron's gasp.

"Bloody hell, you're invisible," he chokes out. Anna looks down, her body beneath her shoulders is completely gone from sight but she feels it moving beneath the layer of starlight. An invisibility cloak.

She does not have to open her eyes to know the cloak is in the room.

* * *

She starts lessons in the spring. The schools in the capital are not enough to please her mother and father. They get her a private tutor instead, a woman named Sakiko. It seems an expense too big for them to afford but her mother reminds her that their exile was lifted. At first, Anna does not know what to think of the woman. Sakiko is stern faced with deep lines making up the folds of her face. Anna does not think a smile comes easily for this woman but she is pleasantly surprised by her deep laugh. Her amber eyes are soft beneath the rough timber of her voice.

"I'm going to show you anything until you learn how to breath properly," a stern glare is sent Anna's way as she opens her mouth to respond.

"That little huffing noise you make is not breathing. You sound like a dying 80 year old man." Sakiko stands her bones popping slightly as she walks towards Anna. Her hands pull Anna's back straight until it aches. But she learns. The posture come easier and her breathing slower, deeper until she can feel the fire moving insider her. It is wonder and awe and the fear of it lessens.

Her mother is in charge of her in the afternoons. They walk to the palace libraries together, finding a corner far away from others. She cherishes these afternoons she spends listening to her mother describe lands far away and inconceivable, the differences in dialect in the Earth Nation, the stars that light the sky under the North Pole. Her mother tells her of the war, of the Fire Nation citizens that died protecting their land, of the murder of civilians, of the Air Nation Army.

"I know it's scary but you have to know. One day this war will be over and all of this will be just memory. It'll be easy to forget than why we fought and what they did to us."

Anna does not want to know of war. She has lived through one and lost everything.

* * *

The light in the hall wavers, shadows dancing on faceless bodies. Some litter the ground, others hidden behind gaping holes in the wall. The stones are charred, tables sits as rubble on the ground. Anna can only see one face, a pale gray, shriveled, with red eyes as slits. In his hand is a thin stick that points straight at her. A gold light streaks through the air and the wand flies. He drops backward, falling to the ground gracelessly in a final resounding thud. Anna catches the wand.

* * *

"Why do we have to do this?" Anna asks, exhausted as she tries to get way from her mother's fussing hands. Anna's robes are pulled off her soon, the pins put away as the seamstress leave with piles of embroidered silk. The festival is weeks away and they act as if it comes tomorrow.

"It's important. We're back after fifteen years. We have to make an impression," her mother explains, patiently. She looks at Anna's tired face, the annoyance that lingers in her brow and sighs.

"You know when your father and I first met he took me to the art museum near here. When he came to pick me up, he had that ridiculous training outfit on, the brightest red I'd ever seen. He made up these stories for all the paintings in the museum, stories that didn't even make sense. When we went to dinner later that night, I told him that I had studied art under Soami. I thought he was going to die when I told him."

"Dad's so dumb," Anna says laughing as she imagines her dad guiding her mother around. His hands gesturing wildly, a Cheshire grin on his face and her mother trying to keep the laugh out of her voice.

"Why do you think I married him?"

"Well, grandpa told it was because of his big di-" her voice is muffled by her mother's hand. Laughter echoes in the room, high pitched, as Anna is tackled to her bed by her mother. It is hard to breath as she tries to escape her mother's wiggling fingers. It is even harder to muster up anything but happiness.

The settle next to each other, black hair splayed out in halos around their heads, amber eyes glancing at each other.

"I love you," her mother says softly. Anna's heart squeezes, tightly, uncontrollably.

"I love you too."

* * *

Dawn approaches as Anna sits on her bed. The gaudy gold ring is heavy in her hand, the cloak covers her invisible legs, and the wand rests on the edge of her bed. She knows what they are, what they can do. There power is stronger here, echoing through the air, lighting her body on fire. Master of Death. It is not a title she wants.

"Who are you?" she asked, hands trembling as she moves toward the man. His feet are up on her desk, boots cakes thickly with mud. The legs of his pants are thick with a slick black oil and his hands are stained an even darker black.

"We were not meant to meet this soon," his voice is hoarse, thick with disuse. He moves swiftly and gracefully for an old man. His coat pulled around his broad shoulders, and she sees the gleam of gold buttons. It's an officer's uniform but not one of theirs.

"Anna Potter," the name sounds wrong, "you are a very persistent girl."

"I…I"

"A second life is not easily gained but neither are those three items."

"I don't want it." He stares at her, eyes empty before he laughs.

"A first then. Don't worry too much about it, sweets. It'll all sort out," he smiles harshly, all teeth and no eyes. He's gone when she blinks.

* * *

 **Firstly, thank you to everyone who favorited, reviewed or followed. I really appreciate it. I hope this chapter fills your expectations.**

 **Second, to answer a question given by a reviewer. Anna will have a significant effect on Zuko's journey. However, she was raised in the Fire Nation and was taught to believe all of their propaganda just as much as the other children. This story is as much about Anna finding her own path, redeeming her nation, and making sure she lives up to her past life as it is about her and Zuko's relationship.**


	3. Love Me Lights Out

_Nobody sees what we see_  
 _They're just hopelessly gazing_

 _XO, Beyoncé_

* * *

The gold leaf itches on her face. Anna's hands yearn to scratch it off, to take off the suffocating silk dress, to get rid of the uncomfortable shoes. A glance at her mother's stern face stills her hand.

Soft lanterns light the path towards the inner courtyard. Fire lilies bloom under the low light, bright red petals that shimmer with thin green stems. Her mouth curls into a smile as she sees them. The nobles are dressed in their finest silks, masks covering their faces as they enter into the ballroom. Some wear masks of bright pinks and greens shaped like butterflies, others look like freshly plucked birds. Anna tries not to laugh.

A gasp escapes her mouth as she enters the main room. Soft wisps of fire float in the air shaped like lilies. Fire lilies cover the archways and columns. Streamers of lilies are tied to the crystal chandelier in the middle of the room, forming a giant flower on the ceiling. Anna has never seen anything so beautiful. The sweet smell of summer hangs in the room.

General Iroh and his son sit closest to the Fire Lord. The crown prince is handsome. His mouth pulls into an easy boyish grin that reaches his warm eyes. Anna can easily see why the girls in the Fire Nation are in love with him. He carries himself proudly and yet his eyes meet the servants' as he thanks them. She thinks of Sirius and what he said once. _If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals._ Prince Lu Ten would be a wonderful Fire Lord.

She greets Fire Lord Azulon first, ducking into a low bow. The Fire Lord is tall and old, his white hair shining brilliantly underneath the firelight. He glances at her with a blank indifference, a crease forming between his eyes as he glances at the lightening scar on her face. His eyes dart away towards her mother when she looks up. He is warm and gracious and everything a Fire Lord should be but it doesn't feel right. Her skin feels tight under his gaze and her parents shift uncomfortably. They are simply toys for this man to play with. Anna does not like it.

Anna wonders away catching the eye of General Iroh. She watches in slight awe as he makes the flames dance like butterflies around him. It is trick, seemingly simple but one that only a master can do. He laughs, loudly and fully, at her gasp of awe.

"Come here, child," he motions, his voice soft like the honeyed wine they drink at dinner. It is only when she is near him that he recognizes her.

"You look just like your grandfather," he smiles, the kind of smile you only see once in a lifetime and remember always.

"Thank you," Anna says. It is the first time someone has not spit an insult at her grandfather's memory.

"Are you a firebender," he asks.

"Yes," she hesitates, "Prince Zuko has been helping me and my Sifu Sakiko." He does not look surprised at her mention of the prince. He motions for her to sit and she glances hesitantly towards her parents. They are still speaking to the Fire Lord.

"Do you like tea, my dear?"

She nods. His smile brightens. Iroh asks her about Zuko, about her home in Shu Jing and listens as she describes her tiny village, her friendship with the prince, and the warm fire that lives in her.

"How do you like the Capital?"

"It's…different."

"Different is one word. I'd say it's dangerous, wouldn't you?" Iroh says no more on the Capital, a knowing gleam in his eyes as he casts a glance towards his father. Anna does not like it. He distracts her with tales of dragons. She's heard the rumors that he killed the last of the mighty beasts but, that is not the story he tells her.

"As I walked up the stairs, carrying my small flickering flame, it goes out. I panic, of course. The sun warriors behind me jeer and laugh. I am surely to die. The last step looks bigger, a mountain to climb but I do it. The masters, they spoke of, are not men. Out of one cave comes a glittering red beast, scales as large as my body. Out of the other, a deep blue beast with scales like sapphires. Dragons. They circled, dancing around each other like new lovers. Then I knew. I performed the Dance of the Dragons, though it looked silly with just me. When I was done, they breathed out a flame so bright, so beautiful that it is hard to describe. It was like looking at the stars at night, the sun rising painting the sky with streaks of color."

"You killed them though."

He winks and takes a long sip of tea.

* * *

It is late in the night. Everyone is fully watered and fed, an air of lethargy hanging over the ballroom. Anna is sneaking in spiced chocolates when Zuko spots her. Her mouth is stuffed full, and she greets in a mumbled voice that has him laughing.

"You could've asked one of the servants to take them to your room," he tells her, a mocking grin on his face.

"I didn't know. We didn't have these growing up." She shrugs her shoulders, brow creasing as she sets the chocolate down. Zuko stills her hand calling to the waiter that passes them. There are three boxes, stuffed with the finest sweets sent to her room.

"I've been looking for you everywhere," he takes her by the hand. A motion that is done so smoothly, so casually that Anna is slightly blindsided. There's a girl watching them as Anna is led to table. The sharp grin and same shade of gold eyes gives her away.

Princess Azula is beautiful. It is the first thing Anna notices about her, the second is the sneer that pulls her lips downward. Her eyes are cold steel that cut through the air. She has none of the softness that Zuko does. This girl is all Lord Ozai.

"Who's this, Zuzu? Your new toy?"

"Azula," Zuko says his voice tight. Anna's face burns under the girls gaze. There is something ugly that lurks in Azula's eyes.

"I'm Anna Zoeller." Her last name hangs in the air before Azula laughs, sharply. It is a laugh that is fake, that is meant to belittle Anna. She knows this game already. Draco had played it well, better than this princess could.

"Zoeller? You mean your grandfather is the crazy old man that nearly destroyed the fire nation? No wonder Zuko hangs out with you."

"Crazy or not, he managed to do what your grandfather couldn't."

The princess glares, a ugly thing that distorts any beauty she had. She leaves in a steely silence. Zuko's eyes are wide as he stares at the space his sister left behind.

"Sorry," Anna says, at last.

His hand in hers, the familiar smell of cedar wood and heat.

"Azula's never walked away before."

A smile, boyish and soft. A smile that Anna would fight to see. A smile that devours her world.

They sit in silence, her head on his shoulder as her eyes slip closed slightly. She listens to the soft tones of piano, a violin chasing after its melody. The song plays in her head like a loop. A waltz that she's danced a lifetime ago.

"You look beautiful," Zuko says. Anna turns a bright red beneath her face paint. She knows the scar that covers half her face is ugly, lightening that travels from one corner feathering out. But she knows that her smile is pretty and her eyes a nice color and her hair a wavy, black mess.

"Thanks," she whispers back.

"Did you see that lady wearing the blue peacock feathers," there's a laugh in his voice. They sit for hours mocking the other guests. Zuko, at one point, stands up and reenacts a colony governor's fall as he tried to bow to Lord Ozai. It has Anna in near tears.

There's a silence that falls over the room as Zuko walks back to his mother for the final dance. She finds it strange how formal the dancing is here, how rigid like its something to suffer through rather than enjoy. The whole capital's like that. Anna sees it, in the weariness of people's faces, the fear that blankets, news that comes from rumors. There's a shadow coming over their nation and she's not sure she wants to be here when it comes.

Some one pulls her out of her thoughts, sending her towards the dance floor where she stumbles into people until she comes to a stop.

Her father is there, his hand tight in hers.

"I want you to lead, just like I showed you." Her mouth falls open, protest on her lips.

"I couldn't possibly."

"I'm right next to you. I won't let anything happen. You know all the steps, Anna. Everything will be alright."

"I can't."

"You can," he looks earnest, proud. A wide grin on his face and his next words cut off as the music starts. Anna's world pivots and shakes. A tsungi horn shrieks, a flute shouts, someone on her left hisses as a heel hits the floor loudly. She steps forward, her foot in the air for a moment before the steps float out. Three steps forward, one back, a lift.

"Dad?"

"I'm here," his grip tightens.

Eight paces forward, a box, a spin. A roar of noise as the symphony grows louder. Twelve steps and they switch. It is Zuko's hand in hers now, his mother whisked away by her father in a shroud of red. The pressure is gone, replaced by a steadily growing confidence. Zuko stumbles as she leads but falls into step effortlessly afterwards. He lifts her, a quiet strength in his arms.

"Hi," she whispers. Her eyes shine.

"Hi." There's no fear now as they finish the dance.

She can do this.

* * *

So this chapter is quiet continuous. The other chapters were setting the scene. The time jumps were because Anna is very much a child. The things she remembers most clearly are the things that had the most impact: leaving her home, finding Zuko, her parents and the Hallows. This chapter doesn't have much touching on her past life. As we progress, Anna's status as Master of Death will be thoroughly explained as will her finding of the Hollows and her death. Just be patient.

By the way, reviews are always welcomed. I love reading your critiques, comments and questions. It helps me plan the story out and tweak events that I have already written out. Also, thank you to everyone who had favorited, followed and reviewed this story.


	4. Love Sinks

_Love sinks and hope floats_

 _River of Tears, Alessia Cara_

* * *

"Why am I here?" she asks Death. He's changed since she last saw him. No longer an old man, but young with sun-streaked hair and a cocky grin.

"Come on, sweets. Be a little more creative."

"Why do I remember the other life?"

"That one's easy. Can't have my mistress mistreating me can I? It's easier to handle having magic if you remember what it is." She wants to hate this man, wants to hate the way he glides into her life. But, the promise of more magic, of spells that can halt a person with a single glance make it hard to hate him.

"Look, you found the hollows. It's meant to be a reward, a blessing cause it means I'm not alone anymore. But, you didn't want them. I think you still don't want them."

"That doesn't explain why I'm here."

"You weren't happy so, I brought you somewhere where you would be."

"Will I be happy here?"

"If you fight for it…you'll be happy."

"You'll teach me, then? How to fight?"

He nods.

She smiles, lips curling up, eyes bright.

She'll fight if she has to.

* * *

Zuko waits for her after her lessons, a whisper on his lips of the war that's coming. She hears it everywhere now. Earth Nation traitors seizing colonies, Fire Nation citizens dying, children and women went missing. It fills her with anger, a brewing heat that scorches anything it touches. Zuko is scared by the thought of war but Anna remembers it all too well. Magic, like hers, could help, could stop the Earth Nation from advancing.

"No," Zuko says, his face grave. His lips pull downward as he stares at her. "We have Generals and soldiers to protect us."

"I don't want people to die," her lip trembles. She remembers losing everyone before. She doesn't want that. She wants her mother and her father and Zuko. Forever.

"People die. It's what they do."

"But, if I can help," she trails off, staring down that the green grass. Her toes are stuck in the dirt and she watches as the worms wriggle between her toes. Pink and fleshy and fat. Even the worms are better fed than the people outside the palace.

"You can't tell anyone, Anna. Promise me that you won't." Zuko is serious, more serious than she's ever seen him. He looks like a prince, like Lu Ten with the world pressing down on his shoulders.

She won't tell.

If he asks it of her, she won't tell.

* * *

"Is it true?" she asks her father at dinner. He drops the rice he's picked up, his mouth falling open as he stares at her in shock.

"Anna, its just rumors. The Fire Lord wouldn't risk our lives like that. We have enough territory, any more is being greedy."

"But the Earth Nation is attacking us. They should be punished."

"Anna," his voice sharp, "we've attacked enough people unprovoked. Its just rumors, that's all."

"The Air Nation Arm-" she's cut off as her father, stands chair screeching backwards, toppling to the ground. Her mother watches in stunned silence as he marches out of the room. She thinks he's foolish for the first time. He sees the engine that grows in the west, the smoke columns that rise from the mines, the factories that churn out armor, the boys waiting in lines eager to get a step closer towards war. A part of her sings at the idea of sacking Ba Sing Se, a larger part is eager for the battle, the excitement. If they won, it'd be done. No more war, no more people dying, peace in all the nations. She wants to be part of it, to help make sure that her nation is safe, that her people don't suffer.

Her mother is next to her smoothing away strands of hair from her face. Anna stares up, watching as her mother's lips tighten slightly.

"I didn't mean to mak-"

"The Fire Lord expects a lot from us, darling. We need to focus on more important things than whispers from the poor."

"But, Zuko said that-"

"The prince is young, such stories seem exciting to him."

"But, they're not for us." Her mother's hands tighten to the point of hurting. Anna remembers the days when the Water Tribes were still fighting. The food shortages, the boys that left and never came back, the mothers crying at funeral pyres. Wouldn't it stop, though? If they ended the Earth Nation, had it under the Fire Lord's rule, all the fighting would stop. There would be peace.

"Darling," her mother grasps her chin between her painted fingers, peering at her through narrowed eyes, "War is the weapon of death. Those living win nothing."

* * *

Sakiko is angry with her. Her fire burns too hot. Sweltering and full of rage. Anna does not know where it comes from. She thinks it's from the girl she was before. Something makes her angry. Angry at her. Anna tries to ignore the rage but it comes at night in dreams. The snake that strikes a man, dragging its teeth across his face. The man that falls through the veil, Sirius. She can feel it bubbling up at the sight of a crazed, curly haired witch. She wants to kill her. It scares Anna more than anything.

"What's wrong," Sakiko asks, pulling Anna to the ground. She shakes her head, trying to hide her tensed shoulders as she wipes the sweat from her face.

"Nothing, it's nothing."

"You nearly burned my face off, girl. That's not nothing."

"I…"she resorts to lying, "I'm just having trouble with the forms."

Sakiko's face is unimpressed, the lines deepening until Anna's sure they will sink into the skin. The older woman sighs, leading Anna away from the training mats and towards the outer courtyards. Anna winces at the sight of the scorch marks that mar the outer wall.

"Come here," she says, her bones creaking as she sits down on the grass. Anna hesitates as she sits next to Sakiko. Her arms tremble from the forms she had done before, skin dewy from sweat.

"Do you see that?" Sakiko guides her face toward the sun. Anna winces trying to pull away from her grasp but Sakiko held tight.

"That is why we bend. The sun brings life to all. Without it our world would be snow and ice."

"I know."

"No. You don't. You see Prince Zuko and think that fire is flash and dance and anger. It is the breath you breathe, the warmth that flowers in spring, the sweet air of summer. It is life and it is danger. You cannot have one without the other."

Anna is silent, watching the clouds roll across the sky, the sun peaking out from behind white fluff. She listens to the steady, deep breaths of Sakiko and relaxes.

"I have something to tell you," Anna says.

Her promise to Zuko is important.

Her control is slipping.

She needs someone to help.

Zuko is just a kid, just like she is.

Sakiko will help.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for the wait. My exams have just finished so, I'm free for the summer (other than work). The next update should come sooner than this one. Any reviews are welcome.


	5. Daddy Lessons

_With his gun, with his head held high_  
 _He told me not to cry_

 _Daddy Lessons, Beyoncé_

* * *

Her training changes. Sakiko pushes her harder, yells when her drills are done wrong. Anne can feel the sweat on her brow with every movement. Magic hums beneath her skin, thrives in the red fires that she pulls around the studio. Something in her has opened up.

"What is it like?" she asks, passing Anne a cup of steaming jasmine tea.

"Like you're hungry and nothing can ever fill you. Like the world is too small and too big."

Sakiko tells her about the spirit world and the avatar and things that are forbidden in the Fire Nation. Each word feels like a secret and Anne carries them out with her.

* * *

Something has happened, deep in the lower city where smoke and dust cover the air. The fog gets thick, and hot and too heavy to breath. Fire Lord Azulon issues the first orders, a lock down of the palace and Caldera City. Anne hears the sounds of feet marching down empty streets late at night. Soldiers, Death tells her. She shakes her head in denial but even her heart has heard the war drum. Chaos comes soon after, ripping buildings from their seams. The nobles scream as fire and stone battle in their homes. No one hears from the Fire Lord. Anna doesn't know if it is a rebellion or an attack. Her father disappears, off to answer the absent Lord's call.

It is night and the ground still shakes from the battle outside her doors. Anna cannot think. She doesn't want war. She's lived it already. Her hands are on her ears, shutting out the world as she repeats her list of names. Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Luna, Neville, Sirius, Remus. She breathes out slowly. She wants to go back.

Another crack and the stone beneath her feet shifts. She moves backwards gasping, as the crack widens until the floor is spilt in two.

"Mom! Mom!" she shouts, her hands shaking as she throws open the door.

* * *

Her mother dies when she is eleven. She sees it scrambled, like pieces of a horrible puzzle. Her father's screams, and the blood that mars the foyer, the earth pulled out of the ground, a green flag wrapped around a body. Her mother's golden hair spilled out on the floor, slick, oily blood spreading out on the Earth Nation flag. She screams, servants rushing around to pull her away but it's too late. Her mother is dead. It is not like before, the faceless woman and the flash of green, her face following her around. This is her _mother_. The fire blossoms outward, a burning heat rising up until her throat is parched, the walls smell of ash. She can't stop seeing it. Stone crushing the life out of her mother. Her father is worse, his hands reaching for the dagger at his side before it is wrenched out of his hands. His tears falling over the broken body of the woman he loved.

* * *

A year will pass before her father musters up the courage to look into their old home. Before he sees the silk threading of her mothers dress and turns a stony white. Anne stays beside him, under his eye, because he cannot bear the fear of losing her too. She does not mind. She can't stand the stares, the whispered apologies as they shun the unkempt braid her father has made. Zuko seems like a far off dream in those days. The royals were the targets and she feels her father's brewing anger at the sight of their flushed cheeks and bright eyes. They should be the ones dead, not her.

* * *

"I will be dead in twenty minuets," he tells her. Anna tears are sudden and heavy, washing down her face like an endless ocean. His smile has been replaced by a thick frown that lines his face with age. His hands are steady on her shoulders as he explains to her Lord Ozai's command. Anna cannot hear him. She traces the lines of his face, the scar that rests by his nose, and the crow's feet that crinkle his eyes. He smells like wood and fire and the lemon soap he brought back from Ba Sing Se. She will spend a lifetime trying to find it again. This will be the last time she sees his face. She wants to remember it.

Her father leaves. The household falls silent, servants looking around with wary eyes, a darkness creeping into the hearts of every man. They cannot fight. Sakiko leads her to her rooms, locking the two of them inside. She spends the night with her, watching as Anna's stunned silence falls away into gasping sobs that leave her shaking.

* * *

There is a funeral days later. Anna's black funeral robes are tight against her skin, the silk scratching the back of her neck. There is a procession of Generals that come to give their condolences. Anna spots Lord Ozai and cannot help the bile that rises in her throat. He does not glance at her. The public is pressed against the palace gates, white flowers lining the streets, a mournful song in the air. Anna's head aches, her heart is low in her chest, and she cannot look at the body wrapped in white gauze waiting to be burned.

Anna gathers the bone with a careful precision. Her hands do not shake nor does her breath stop. She remembers doing the same with her mother's bones, feet first and then upwards. There is a sense of calm covering her. These bones are not her father or mother, they are shadows of the flames that burned bright. Anna carries them with her, feels their spirits standing near her. The Fire Lord will pay one day but not by her hand. The urn is golden, grander than her mother's urn. There are etchings scratched onto the sides, drawings that depict her father's life. It is battle followed by battle, a burning wall taking the center. It is a mockery. Ba Sing Se still stands and her father lies dead before her. Anna leaves some ash behind, raising from her knees as General Iroh walks forward to collect ashes. It is an honor given only to war heroes, there ashes mixed with other brave soldiers. Anna does not want her father mixed among mass murderers.

"I'm sorry," Zuko said. His eyes are earnest and wide as he gazes at her. She can't hold his gaze, glancing away towards the trees blossoming in the back. She wants badly to muster up anger, to feel a burning rage at the Fire Lord's son but she's tired. Her glazed eyes blink wearily at Zuko and she takes an unsteady step back.

"It's okay," she said. Zuko shakes his head, his lips quivering slightly as he rushes forward. Anna's mouth falls open, a startled cry leaving her mouth as he embraces her. There are whispers around them. Even Lady Ursa looks shocked at her son's behavior as Zuko squeezes her tighter.

"It's not okay. He's your dad," he whispers, fiercely in her ear. Anna wills herself not to cry but her eyes burn and it's hard to see.

She wishes it was his dad.

* * *

A/N: Please review. Also sorry for the wait. Real life got in the way of writing, so this chapter is a bit rushed. I wanted an update out there. It most likely will be changed later.


	6. I Walk the Line

_I keep a close watch on this heart of mine_

 _I keep my eyes wide open all the time_

 _I keep the ends out for the tie that binds_

 _I Walk The Line, Halsey_

* * *

It rains for weeks after her father's funeral. The storms wash away the old shore line and carving a new one. She thinks it's a sign, from the spirits or the gods. Something is coming, a speck on the horizon, a warning. She doesn't care much for it. As soon as it's safe, she wraps herself in a wool robe and scurries off to the river, resurrection stone in hand. She throws the stone in the river, skirts muddied by the wet soil, fist clenched tight. The fog clears as she's walking back, streaks of sun just starting to peak out from behind the volcano. It's when her feet hit the smoothed stone pathway leading to the inner city, that she feels a weight in her pocket. Her feet stumble, knees smacking with a heavy cracking sound. Anna's fingers tremble as she reaches into her pocket and pulls the damned stone out.

She throws it again, shoulder pulling back, elbow locking with a snap at the force of her throw. Again, she feels the weight. She throws it thrice, and thrice it returns. She feels tight, stomach coiling, scalp burning as she pulls at the roots of her hair to release some of the pressure. There's a heat, an anger brewing in her, boiling over like water in a pot. It fills her until she can't breathe, and the stone feels as heavy as a horcruxes in her pocket.

She wants her father back.

She wants her mother back.

She wishes that they had never moved to this city. She would have taken the gnawing in her belly for decades over this empty rage.

Her bones ache as she stands, feet tapping against the stones as she hurries home. She will try again later but, for now her empty house needs looking after.

At home, she wonders the library and her father's study looking for anything to unravel his death. She knows that it was Lord Ozai who ordered it, knows that he had been given a poison to drink in exchange for her life, knows that the state funeral was to cover it up but, she doesn't know why. What had he done to deserve death? It haunts her, has her looking over her shoulder.

She wonders if the same thing would have happened had Lord Iroh not left for Ba Sing Se. Power is shifting, changing beneath their noses. Anna would have given everything to have been in Slytherin in that moment, just to be able to play the game.

She looks up startled as the door is thrown open, and the clacking of Sakiko's cane echoes in the room. The woman sighs, looking older than her years as she takes in the mess Anna's made.

"Child, you can't keep doing this," she mutters softly, crossing the room to collect her student. "Your father was a good man but, he was a Fire Nation general. He was in constant danger."

"Stop," Anna says. Her voice weak as if she had forgotten she had one.

"Whatever your father knew was enough to scare Lord Ozai," she continues as if Anna hasn't spoken. "You think yourself different from Ozai but, if you believe all that you have been taught you will be no better."

"I want you to leave."

"Treas-"

"My father was not a traitor," she shouts, magic flaring and scorching the papers on the desk. Sakiko backs away, eyes wide and dark. Anne stands, breathing heavy, filled with a wild anger that balloons up past the emptiness.

"You will die the same way if you keep this up," Sakiko utters, turning away from Anna.

"His is dead because of this."

"I'm sorry that he died bu-."

"Don't," Anne's voice is cold and her fingers shake. She feels the pity in the air, stale and bitter like old lemon rinds.

"No, Anna. I thought that space and time would be enough to help you. You are restless, child. Everyday you burn hotter and I fear that you will harm yourself with this energy. I had forgotten how young you are and I am sorry."

"I'm not restless, I'm mad."

"Anger kills, it is a forest fire. It does not matter if you are what fuels it. It will snuff itself out."

"I won't let it."

Sakiko leaves, ending the conversation. Anna forces herself to sit down, to even out her breathing, to blink back the tears.

He's not a traitor, she whispers to herself until she can almost believe it.

* * *

She dreams that night of Regulus, the boy she's never met. He slimmer than Sirius, but his face is cut from jagged angles and there is a beauty in that.

"I wouldn't listen either," he says, hand brushing hers as he settles down next to her, pants rolled past his ankles, feet dangling into the lake he drowned in.

"What?"

"When Sirius tried to get me to go with him. I thought he was being stupid giving up his family for bloodtraitors and the like."

"It's not the same," she says, pulling her hand away so it wasn't near him.

"No, it's not. But, something's off, like when you're under an imperius cruse and everything feels right and wrong at the same time. That what it feels like."

She wakes trying to shake off the cold feeling that surrounds her. The candle by her bed is still lit, her book strewn over her body. She tries and tries to make the light a little brighter but her shaking limbs can't quite do anything.

She looks up, eyes watching the figure that sits on her desk. His inky black hair and a fire nation tunic lined with gold thread make him look like one of them. Anna scoffs at the thought that he would lower himself to humanity.

"Why them?" she asks him, hand curled in a fist around her sheets. Her slim shoulders hunched forward as if she can't hold herself up.

"Why does everyone always ask that?" Death says, looking angry and amused all at once. She wants to hit him, wants him hurt like she is.

"Because you're the one who takes them away. You took my parents once and it was cruel. But, this, this is worse. You let me have them before you stole them away."

"It's not the dead who do the killing, sweets. That's left for the breathers."

"But, yo-"

"I collect, I don't steal, I don't take. I collect what's left over. It's not fair, it's not good or evil. It just is," his hand runs through his hair, giving way to silver underneath his touch.

"It didn't have to be them."

"No, it didn't," he agrees.

"Then why?"

"Because this is how it starts. You...Anne, you have a gift, something that pulls and tugs at the universe and it fights back." His face softens and he grabs hold of her hand, his skin feeling not quite right, more like smooth leather than living flesh.

"I don't want this. I don't want any of this," her voice trembles.

"No one ever does."

She looks away, thumb brushing the ring on her. Her finger pulls the stone off it, rubbing the smooth surface. She wants to see them again, to see her mother's slim mouth curl into a grin, to see her father's brow wrinkle in confusion. There is a thought that freezes her from turning the stone, that forces her to drop it after the second spin. That her mother's hair will be red, that her eyes will be green, that she will be a stranger.

A wind brushes past her startling her from her thoughts and she looks to find that he has disappeared leaving only the scent of smoke.

She shifts, knees pulled up to her chest, head leaning on the wall.

She shuts her eyes, breathing steady.

The candle in her room brightens and dims with her breathing.

* * *

Sakiko rises, glancing over her shoulder as she watches the young prince enter the room. Her body stiffens into a low bow, before glancing at Anna with pinched lips. Anna glances away, guilt swimming in her gut at the disappointed look. She has not forgotten the anger she felt at her teacher, now her only caretaker. She slips into a bow too, as Zuko gets closer.

He stops, glancing at her with wide eyes before he pulls her up. His brow furrows and he looks back at Sakiko, as if it was her fault.

"Don't do that," he complains, as he lowers himself onto an empty mat next to her.

"What are you doing?"

"Learning. Uncle Iroh's left for Ba Sing Se and my teacher is boring so I came here."

"Fire Lord Azulon really sent him?"

"Yes, Lu Ten went too. We can't let them attack us anymore."

Anna's mind goes back to her mother, the green flag they had found her body in and she sucks in a shaky breath. She quashes the anger that rears up, looking away from both Sakiko and Zuko as her eyes sting with tears. She feels off as if the world has shifted a fraction and no one bothered to tell her.

Anna sniffles, fidgeting under their stares before composing herself. She pushes her shoulders back, turning her head high, daring either to say anything. Neither do.

"If you are going to join us, boy, don't expect us to go easy on you because you are a prince." Sakiko throws her a wink, giving her a little nod towards the boy. Anna shifts, standing up bringing her hands up into a fighting form as Zuko gets to his feet.

He's still looking at her weird, eyes narrowed as if he's figuring out who she. She knows that he wants to tell her something. He doesn't though. He stays quiet, feet shifting as he lowers himself into a defensive stance. Anna's lips twitch.

He circles her, moving with a quiet ease that is learned from years of lessons. She waits until his foot is in the air, to send a wave of fire at him forcing him back. He jumps out of the way and makes a counter attack just as quick. It's a choppy, silted dance limited by their ability and lack of knowledge in the art. But, Anna is quick and fierce. She fights like a lizard hound, making up for her lack of physical strength in sheer brute speed and power. Zuko is slightly surprised and the ease with which she bends reminds him of Azula. He's on his back, Anna on top of him before he realizes.

"You lose," she says, fighting back a slight grin. She likes having this power, likes being able to fight in a way she never had before.

"I know." Zuko rolls his eyes, taking her hand and pulling himself up.

"You did good, though. It's was really hot in here," Anna snorts at her own joke, wiping the sweat of her brow.

"You have a strong base," Sakiko says, reminding the two that she's still in the room, "Nearly tripped Anna up a couple of times."

"The floor was slippery," Anna retorts, crossing her arms over her chest.

Zuko laughs and Anna can almost forget who his father is.

* * *

He's sitting next to her, a bag of bread between them as they feed the turtleducks. Sometimes he rambles about his mother or what his sister did to him that day. But, mostly he glances at her from the corner of his eyes, keeping a silent vigil for her. She's annoyed and she's not. She keeps quiet too.

Their peace is shattered by the princess.

"Zuzu, why are you always hiding here with this freak?" Azula spits the word out like it's a bigger insult then it is. Behind her stand two girls that Anna has seen only in passing. The one wearing pink grins brightly at her, and it is a smile that is neither biting nor cold. She seems embarrassed almost. The other girl offers her nothing but a blank stare. Anna decides she likes her best from Azula's friends.

Anna turns her gaze back, looking at the sneer on the princess's face and almost laughs. Zuko is not so still, jumping to his feet in an attempt to defend her honor.

"It's okay, Zuko," Anna says, tugging on the back of his robes. He turns to her, face flushed in anger and shakes his head.

"Yeah, Zuzu, listen to the freak."

"Stop calling her that!"

"It's what she is. All she does is cry all day because she's an orphan. She doesn't even go to school."

It is the mention of her parents that loosens her hand. She lets Zuko rush forward, pushing Azula to the ground. She watches them rolling the ground, looking up as the girl in pick exclaims. The other girl settles down next to Anna, watching as Zuko rolls around fighting with Azula.

'I'm Mai," she mutters quietly to Anna.

"Anna."

"What were you guys doing?'

Anna shrugs her shoulders, gesturing to the bag of bread by her bare feet.

"Where are you from? Azula says you came from the country," Mai's voice is a quiet droll, making her seem as if she didn't really care for Anna's answer.

"Shu Jing. You should get back up before she sees you talking to me."

Mai looks at her for a while, surprise hidden in her eyes before she nods. Anna bows her head and there is an understanding that settles between the two girls. They will never be friends, not as long as there is this line drawn by Azula separating the two. But, respect is enough.

Zuko comes back, his shirt stained by mud and grass and a scratch on his face. Azula follows behind him, shoving her shoulder into his back as she stands in front of Anna.

"I heard you're a firebender," she says with no small amount of reluctance.

"Yes. Zuko tells me you're a very good one as well," she bargains in return.

Azula looks at her with calculating eyes and nods.

Then she offers something that shocks Anna.

"My father says that your father was the best General we had." It sounds important coming from Azula like Anna's worth was measured by her family's legacy.

"Azula," Zuko hisses.

Anna wonders if he thinks that she would break at the mention of her father. She looks at the girl again and nods her thanks.

She'll play this game for him, Anna decides. He's her friend, maybe her only one.

* * *

A/N: Lost a bit of inspiration for this but, I'm back. Please Review :)


	7. Reflection

_Who is that girl I see_  
 _Staring straight back at me?_

 _Reflection, Mulan_

* * *

The first time Anna gets sick, really truly sick, is what breaks her. She's stuck in a haze, breath shallow, body slicked with sweat. And all she wants is her mother. Her name spills from her lips in between moments of consciousness. Anna thinks that she sees her, hands gripping the chair by her bed tightly, eyes glued shut as if she couldn't bear seeing her daughter in pain.

The Red Fever had settled over the city quickly that winter. She hadn't known what it was. One moment she had been fine, slightly warmer than usual but fine. The next moment, the servants had found her curled around a bank of snow, skin pale and clammy. Now, she lays mouth open, gasping in air, as she shudders from the heat burning through her body. Tears slip out as she calls for her mother again. No one ever comes and Anna falls into an uneasy sleep after that.

She dreams of her old life, watching the girl with green, green eyes fight and win. She watches her fall, eyes wide with surprise as a stray spell hits her, thirty years later. She watches the others, eyes clenched in pain, horror frozen on the lines of their faces. This was a girl loved and Anna feels selfish watching her. An orphan, mistreated and abused, and still she seems better than Anna can ever hope to be. What did Anna have but, the silence of an empty house and the hushed whispers that followed her.

She can't continue this way any longer, sealing herself away in grief. It does great dishonor to the memory of her parents. She had left her father's house and name unprotected and privy to the rumors of gossip mongers. If it was true, and she and this Potter girl were one and the same, then that fight, that tight grasp over life is in her somewhere. She wakes with a strange sense of hope.

She dresses herself for the first time in this life, makes her own bed and slips out the door to the servants' quarters. She remembers the path down to the kitchen, where she and her mother used to go and slip pieces of candied cinnamon almonds into their pockets before dinner.

A tall, slim man that had deep lines etched around his mouth and a pair of thin wire glasses that made him look more frog than man is seated at the small table tucked into the corner of the room. Taishi Hanzei was, or had been, the head of her father's household. He looks startled to see her, stuttering over his words as he stands and bows.

"Don't do that," she says, taking the seat directly in front of him.

"Zoeller-sama. I wasn't aware that you had recovered."

"I am one of the luckier ones, my fever broke this morning."

"Agni has blessed you. There are many who haven't woken once it set in."

"How many servants have been affected?"

"Five. Aiko fell ill two days before you and Mitsuko, Kazuki, Himaru, and Masaru have all gotten the Red Fever."

"Send fresh water from the springs and elderberries to them. It will help shorten the illness. In Shu Jing, there is a plant called konikai that helped ward of fevers. It is bitter with small white flowers. I will have some brought here and given to the household."

"That is too mu-"

"It is not enough. I have been very selfish in my grief. My father gave his life for everyone who lived under his protection, including his workers. He would not want to see you suffer and I have done nothing to earn your respect or anyone else's."

"If I may, no one blames you for anything. You were never cruel or unkind and you are still a child."

"There are girls my age who are married, Taishi-san. If I'm going to be the Lady of this house, I need to be able to run it. I need to do both my father's and my mother's job, if I want to stay here."

"You have myself and the staff at your disposal, then. It would be my honor to serve."

* * *

The first thing Anna does is hire new tutors. Sakiko-sensei is still in charge of her firebending training but, there are things that she cannot teach her. Anna's anger still burns bright at the old woman's words about her father but, for now she's let it go. She trains harder than before, relishing in the ache in her limbs after each session. It becomes easier and easier to call the fire and with it her magic.

Her other tutors are pulled from a list Taishi-san provides her. Her days dedicated to history and maths and music and all manners of subjects that Anna hadn't bothered with before. She doesn't see much of Zuko or Azula in the coming months because of it. The two both attend the Royal Academies further away from the inner city. Despite her friendship with the prince, she finds that she doesn't mind so much. The quiet she has lets her focus on more important things. She gets her father's estate in order, learning how manage the various investments that he's made and protecting the interests of their family. It is something that the old her hadn't been very good at but, Anna tackles it with a ruthless efficiency that both scares and impresses the bankers.

She finds out that many of her father's investments were in Earth Nation companies, some of them even tied to families like the Bei Fong's. She doesn't know what to make of it and grows even more confused at the frequency with which General Iroh's name crops up. She has the urge to ask him, maybe even ask Zuko to send him a letter but, it wouldn't do well to send a letter to the warfront. She instead makes maps, tracking the location of their money and keeps a meticulous record of every change. It is all she can think of for now.

At night, after her feet grow sore from dancing lessons or weapons training, Anna curls into a warm bath drawn by Aiko, who had been her mother's handmaid before hers. Aiko sits by her pouring warm oils into her hair with the gentleness of a mother and tells her stories. It often leaves Anna breathless with laughter and red in the face. She grows a fondness for her that she never thought she'd have for a servant.

"We didn't have any of this back in Shu Jing," Anna tells the girl whose dark skin glows like amber in the firelight.

"Any of what?"

"Servants or perfumed oils or pomegranates and milk."

"You're of a noble house, how could you have not had it?"

"My grandfather always disliked the fact that my father wasn't a bender. When he learned that he married a non-bender who had no name to back her, well he exiled him to an estate far from the capital. He didn't want any dishonor bought to the house."

"How did your father end up back here?"

"When I was young, Shu Jing was hit very hard by the water tribe attacks. There wasn't much money or jobs left, so my father took whatever work he found. When the draft started, the money flowed back into the city. My father was selected to help build the ships but, one of the Generals had gone to school with him and recognized him. He remembered how clever my father had been at school and allowed him to help draw up the battle plans. My father helped quell the revolt of the southern water tribes."

"It must have been strange for you to come here."

"It was and still is. Sometimes I feel more at home in the gardens with my feet in the dirt than in here."

"I miss my home too but, the Capital is very beautiful and I wouldn't turn away the fireflakes for anything in the world."

"One day, I'll show you the mountains back home and this place will look like nothing but a rock next to it."

"A rock with cute boys. In the colonies, all the boys are ugly and look like statues that haven't been finished. The only reason the soldiers here wear those ugly helmets is to stop us from fainting," Aiko says, drawing a burst of laughter from Anna.

"Is that why they don't speak as well?"

"Imagine their voices! You'd probably have an heir the next day."

The sound of water splashing fills the air, followed by a sharp shriek as Aiko jumps away from the dripping girl.

* * *

Zuko returns for a full week the following spring. Anna's glad to see him, though he looks slightly different. A littler taller, gaunter around the face and she supposes that the constant talk of the war must be getting to him. He's happy to see her though and almost immediately thrusts a box into her hands.

"What's this?" she asks, giving him a puzzled glance as his cheeks flush.

"A present. I missed your birthday, but I got you this and Azula got you something too," his nose scrunches as he says his sister's name.

Anna smiles brightly, remembering the somber affair that was her birthday. Filled with strangers giving her empty wishes and sly marriage proposals and the small collection of presents she had gotten from Sakiko-sensei and Taishi-san and Aiko. She had been quite happy to realize that her small collection of friends had risen from one to a shaky four.

She shakes the box, holding it to her ear jokingly. She tears the wrapping paper with a forceful precision, folding it back up neatly next to her. Inside the little wooden box, sits an elegant silver necklace, with a small koi fish hanging off of it. She turns to Zuko, giving him a quick hung to show her gratitude before demanding he put it on her.

Azula's present is a knife, with a jade handle and a symbol of luck engraved onto the blade. It's light in her hand, and sharp enough that she knows it's not for show. It's more than she expected from the girl, meaning Anna will have to figure out a way to one-up her in the months to come.

"Did you learn anything new in school?" she asks, Zuko.

"We learned new firebending techniques and Dad's been teaching me stuff about the army," his brow creases and he looks away as he says the last few words.

"How is your uncle?"

"They've breached the wall," Zuko says, shortly feet kicking at the dirt on the ground.

"That's good. It means, they'll be home soon and that the war will end."

"I heard that you've been learning how to use a katana."

"It helps build discipline which, I apparently have none of. It's hard but, I like learning it and it helps with you-know-what," she waves a hand and the petals littering the ground, rise up, turning into soft pink butterflies. They flutter around them and for a moment all Anna can see is Zuko, amber eyes bright, cheeks pink, and mouth pulled into a soft grin.

"It still hard to believe what you can do," Zuko says with a hint of awe in his voice. Anna turns away before he catches her staring. Her mouth twitches downward and she sighs into her hands.

"Sometimes, I wish I couldn't do it."

"Don't say that. It's like asking not to firebend. Uncle says that we shouldn't worry about having power but about how we use it."

"You know, if you actually listen to your uncle, you might be as smart as me one day."

"If I listen to everything uncle said, I would end up working in a tea-shop."

"An admirable profession."

"Better than being someone's wife, I guess," he laughs, dodging the fist that flies through the air to the place where his should had been.

"Shut up, I'm 13 and it's creepy that people are even asking."

"Don't listen to them. It's just a bunch of old men who are stuck a 100 year in the past," he wraps, an arm around Anna's shoulder and she relaxes into the embrace.

"You know, if you do open that tea-shop, I want a discount," she laughs when he shoves her to the floor. She gets back to her feet quickly, shoving him back and laughing away running.

* * *

A/N: Bit of filler, next chapter is gonna get us into the actual Avatar plot-line with Zuko's story. Also, I'm think of posting a Kakashi/OC, if anyone is interested in reading it.


	8. Why Should I Wake Up?

Why should I wake up?  
This dream is going so well.  
When you're enchanted,  
Why break the spell?

Why Should I Wake Up?,

Cabaret, The Musical

* * *

The Siege of Ba Sing Se lasts three years. General Iroh returns to the capital with 200,000 troops gone, Ba Sing Se victorious, and his own son dead. There is no grand procession, no state funeral, nothing but the blank, empty silence that follows every solider and whispers: _How could you have lost?_ Anna is guilty of it, because despite everything, she had wished for a Fire Nation victory. The thought pulls and tugs inside her until she swallows it down.

Anna is standing outside her home, feet bare in the grass, drops of dew stuck between her toes. The soldiers, walking past her, lower their heads in respect, giving her a short greeting. She glances at the dusty uniforms they wear, one size too small and notices the broken arm of the smaller one. He gives her a cheeky wink as her eyes trail the white bandages. With a slight grimace, she realizes that they've just gotten back from the front and bows her head in their direction. Her thoughts from earlier twist in her gut. Partly out of shame, she orders that the flag outside her home be lowered during the mourning period.

"That was kind of you," Taishi-san says when she gets back inside. Anna smiles, a mere twitch of her lips, and nods her head in thanks. She glances briefly at the various papers in his hands, bank statements, letters for her to sign, and a cream-colored envelope with no name.

"After breakfast?" she asks, giving him a weary smile.

"Of course, I'll set them in the study."

"Thank you. I will be attending the mourning procession later on so, let everyone know that they have the afternoon off including you, okay?"

"Of course. Is Aiko still joining you?"

"Yes, I've spoken to her already."

"Then I'll leave you to your breakfast."

"Thank you, Taishi-san," she says, softly as the man leaves the room. Anna takes her breakfast in silence, letting out a sigh as her head falls to the table. There is an empty ache in her when she realizes that in her old life she would have been on the screaming, scarlet engine today, seated next to the freckled red-head on her way to a school of magic. The loss of this Hogwarts stings deeper than she had thought it would. In a way, her life now feels dull in comparison, lacking the wonder of magic and she feels more alone thinking of how she is the only one capable of it now. All that she has here is dead parents and a war the stretches generations before her.

And despite her love for Zuko, because he is her first friend and the warmth of him does nothing but fill her with affection, he is a prince. It is something that Anna often forgets but, his privilege will pull him away from her.

The fire that brews in her heart is the only thing that Anna can claim as her own. It is untouched by the Potter girl and Anna protects it with her life. She still remembers her mother's face as the flames danced around her the first time, the awe, the depth to her smile as she watched Anna manipulate the fire.

There is a frigid chill in the air that both startles Anna from her thoughts and leaves her spine crawling. She stands, chair toppling and glances around the empty room from the corner of her eye. There's fireflies crawling up her arm, hot and bright. At the sound of a foot step, a bright red light from her hand steals across the room hitting the man whose stepped from the shadows. He swats it away, an amused look in his dark eyes.

"Well, at least the constant vigilance thing has stayed with you," he says.

Shoulders still tense, she backs away from the man as he comes closer. In the daylight, he looks different, looser and more boyish. If it wasn't for the lack of a shadow and the flatness to his eyes, Anna wouldn't have been able to tell him from anyone else.

"You've been slacking," Death says, picking up the chopsticks and stealing some of her rice.

"How? I've been practicing. I've come to terms with the fact that you've forced the Potter girl into my mind."

"I didn't force her anywhere. You and her are the same, sweets."

"It hurts to remember and every time I wake up I feel less like me and more like her."

"It's not from the dreams, it's because you're starting to see that things aren't quite right."

"Here, you mean? In the Fire Nation?"

"Feels like a war, doesn't it?" he comments.

"Of course, it does. We're at war with the Earth Nation."

"Don't be stupid. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about here, in the little kingdom you've built yourself."

Anna looks away, fingers gripping the edge of the table. She heaves a sigh, falling into the chair behind her. How long had she watched as servants ducked behind corners to hide from the guards, the steely glances given to the nobles, the whispers hidden behind doors. There's a restlessness to the palace, a disquiet that hangs heavy in the air and is fanned by the rage that sits in the Capital.

"Everyone is scared," she starts, "not the normal kind either, the kind that makes everyone look over their shoulders. They're afraid of Ozai, afraid of our soldiers, of us. And Lord Azulon just lets it _fester_."

"It's more than that, Anna. It's this Nation, this place, you and Zuko, and everything coming together."

"Will you tell me?"

"No, I can't."

"Of course not," she scoffs, voice brittle.

"Be careful and stop being so depressing. You make me think I did the wrong thing bring you here." He disappears in the moment it takes Anna to blink and she rolls her eyes. She finishes her breakfast, which has gone cold from Death's touch and tastes more like ash than food.

She tries not to think of the war and the capital for the rest of the morning.

Her heart hammers at the sight of every solider.

She can hear her blood pumping, the sound like a rockslide, boulders crashing against her ears.

She hides her thoughts deep in her mind and blinks away the emotion in her eyes.

She'll be strong because she has too.

* * *

Anna waits for an hour in the line. Aiko stands next to her, a parasol in hand to block the heavy sun. Aiko's hands shake, the longer she holds it until Anna presses against her, grasping it and pulling it closed. She feels the cool glare of a noble woman and scoffs. It is a slow-moving line and the women before her smell of a thick, floral perfume that makes her head throb. Anna's hands clutch the music box, a small gold dragon sits inside and will dance around the spinning sun once open. She thinks it a good gift and had been saving it for the return of the crown prince. Now, it seems dull and the gold does not gleam as bright as before.

When she sees the general, he has aged a lifetime in the short years he has been gone. There's a blankness to his face as he accepts her mourning gift and Anna's heart twists. Her fingers wind around the stone which, weighs as much as the ocean in her pocket. Her hushed condolences are a dull, imitation of what rests in her mind.

As she turns away, General Iroh's hands reach out and grasp the edge of her silk robes. His eyes dark and hooded as he glances at her. There is pity hidden in the folds of his face and it stings to see it.

"You are a child, still. No robes or perfumes or swords will hide that. My son forgot that. I forgot that," he says, voice cracking. His fingers fall from her robes and he pulls back, the blankness back in his face as he greets the next person. Aiko drags her away, eyes wide as Anna stands frozen.

"Move, you have to move," Aiko whispers, pushing her forward. Anna hears the muffled sound of a sharp-pitched giggle and scowls. Aiko picks up the parasol again, hiding Anna's face underneath its shadow and pulling her away.

She remembers later, her dream of the stone.

She remembers:

Turning it over in her hands.

The boy with a strong jaw and broad nose and wide lips.

She hadn't known then, but now it becomes apparent who that boy had been. Lu Ten. The thought has her feet stumbling and Aiko barley catches her as she falls forward. Bile rising in her mouth, body shaking, she realizes all the magic in the world is not enough to cover her own ignorance.

"What's wrong? What's wrong?" Aiko says, voice shaking as she holds up Anna's trembling limbs. Anna can't move her mouth, can't spill the words from her lips. They stay like that, kneeling in the wet grass, hems muddied, holding each other until Aiko forces her up.

"Did you know him?" Aiko whispers harshly in her ear.

Anna shakes her head.

"Then don't feel sorry, don't feel guilty. He was a boy and a prince. He died the same way he came into this world, bloodied and coddled in golds."

Her fingers grasp Anna's chin harshly, eyes narrowed as she wipes the tear tracks from Anna's face, and forces her head up. Warmth blooms in Anna's chest like the tightness of her skin after hours in the sun. Aiko doesn't ask why, doesn't say anything more but she holds Anna's hand tightly in hers as they walk back home.

* * *

The Admiral sits rigid in Anna's dining chair, his white hair stark against the dark wood. He won't look at her, not directly, but instead stares at a spot on her shoulder. She thinks that it hurts him to look at her, to see the daughter of a man he had fought alongside with.

"Why are you here?" Anna asks, still standing as her knuckles turn white from the grip she has on the table.

"I met you once, when you were just a babe with more hair than some full-grown men. After that your father did everything with you in mind. He fought to make a world you would be happy in. He was a good man and deserved to live longer than he did."

"Ever since my father died, all I've gotten were half-assed truths and cryptic messages about the kind of man he was. So, unless, you have something of substance to tell me, I don't care."

"There are men four time your age who are still afraid to look me in the eye."

"It looks like you're more afraid of me than I am of you."

"You look so much like him, it's hurt more than I realized it would. We went to school together and not once did I think he would die before me. Your father was my best friend. It wouldn't feel right if I didn't know his only child. "

Anna swallows down the words in her mouth, and blinks away her tears. The mention of her father still makes her heart ache and throb with pain and she doesn't think it will ever stop.

"I understand but, I don't think I can live up to the kind of person he was."

"You don't have to. I'm going to be in the Capital for the better part of the year. I'd like it if I could sit in on your firebending lessons, perhaps even teach you a bit of what I know."

"It would be my honor, Admiral Jeong Jeong."

* * *

Sakiko looks near excited to have the Admiral join them. The old women sits more than she stands these days, but there is a bounce in her step as she watches the man walk in. Anna ignores their hushed whispers, shedding the outer layer of robes she wears and stretches.

Anna's limbs move with learned elegance as she goes through the forms. Each movement smoothly gilding into the next, gone are her shaking limbs, and weak punches. She has been training long enough that the skill comes natural to her. Enough so, that she finds herself adapting certain forms to fit her body better. Between the fire crawling beneath her skin and the magic in her heart, Anna is a fortress with no way in.

She jumps back at the stream of fire that cuts the air where she had just been. Her feet stumble as she scurries backwards. There's a sharp pain behind her knee as Jeong sweeps her feet from under her. Her ribs bruise but, she uses the momentum to drop into a roll, sending a wave of fire towards him. He doesn't even blink, dispersing it away in a wide arc and sending sharp jabs toward her. He's better than her, she realizes, as the ends of her hair singe. But, she's faster.

She's thrown back by the heavy hit to her jaw, the iron taste of blood pooling in her mouth, the heat spreading in her face. She ducks under his arm, kicking the back of his knee, and twisting away as his arms come to grab at her. There's something fun in slipping out of his every grasp, she can feel him coming for her repeatedly and only catching air. The spark of their flames hitting one another has her eyes watering.

"Good, very good," he calls out, as she pulls his flame towards her and turns it against him.

"I had a good teacher," Anna says, a light sheen of sweat forming on her brow. Jeong stops his attack, face softening as he makes his way towards her.

"Not many people are capable of such control. Others see fire as a method of gaining power and forget that it will burn them too."

"That's why you attacked me?"

"I was testing you. Sakiko is a master-bender but, that doesn't mean that you are a good student."

Sakiko stands, back arching as she stretches and makes her way towards them. She won't look at Anna and it makes Anna nervous. Hidden in the lines of Sakiko's face is an apology, a weariness that makes her bones sag.

"I cannot teach you any longer, child."

"What?" Anna hates how watery her voice sounds.

"I'm old. Too old for wars and fighting. I've tried to stay as long as I could but, I'm growing tried."

"I didn't know. I'm sorry, sensei. I should have realized," Anna's head is bowed low, shame filling her as she gains another reminder of how selfish she's been.

"No, Anna. Age is the one thing that can't be defeated. You've kept this house standing in your father's place. That is a noble goal and I don't blame you for it."

"Still, I could have done more."

"And then exhausted yourself. Your father was the same way, neck deep in an ocean full of problems to solve. I'll take over Sakiko's place in you training until my fleet is dispatched."

Anna can only nod at the man, still staring at her sensei. She remembers the words that she had shouted at Sakiko, how easily she had dismissed the woman considering her memories of her father. Sakiko had been with her since she moved to the Capital and had stayed until she couldn't. Anna finds it hard to swallow the lump in her throat and she bows low, thanking Sakiko in the only way she knows how to. The woman softens, fingers grasping Anna's shoulder as she pulls her up.

"I'm not dying, yet," Sakiko says, her eyes rolling. Anna lets out a watery laugh.

Admiral Jeong Jeong leaves shortly after, telling Anna to meet him in the morning on the highest peak of the volcano. When they're alone, Sakiko turns to Anna and stares her down.

"You have to be careful," Sakiko says, holding Anna's hands in her own. Sakiko's hands are weathered with age and feel like sand against her own.

"Why?"

"You don't know who he is. Whether he knew your father or not, he's a stranger to you. Don't trust him until you know who he is in here," she jabs a finger towards Anna's heart.

"I won't tell him about my magic. I didn't even ask for him to teach me anything."

"I know and until we figure out what happened to your father, no one knows."

"Of course not," the words taste like ash in her mouth.

She had made this promise before to Zuko and had broken it.

* * *

"That's the prince?" Aiko asks, sprawled out on the blanket. Her eyes are wide as she traces over the defined muscles of the shirtless prince. Anna rolls her eyes, reaching over to cover Aiko's eyes.

"He's a person, not the chocolates you steal from me."

"Oh, there's an idea. The prince covered in chocolate. I don't know what I'd do first, lick-" Anna moves her hand lower, pressing it against Aiko's mouth. Aiko's breath is hot and it's difficult not to laugh as she attempts to lick her hand.

"Please, don't finish that sentence," Anna begs. She gives Aiko a stern glance, lips twitching despite herself. Aiko nods and Anna lowers herself back to her elbows, watching as Zuko practices. There's a gracefulness to his movements that emphasizes toned muscles of his abdomen. Anna's face flushes a bright red, memories of a girl with freckled skin that was soft beneath her hands springing to mind. She wonders if he'd be as soft.

"You know, you shouldn't think those thoughts out in public."

"That's never stopped you."

"I'm not a lady though. Imagine the scandal: Zoeller-sama having a secret affair with the prince. Forget the war, you'll have his fangirls fighting you here."

"It's only a scandal, if there's a pregnancy. Everything else can be hidden."

"Forget the prince. You are much more attractive," Aiko's dark eyes are heavy on her, a sharp edge to her gaze that Anna hasn't seen since her old life. She lets herself fall into the spell, warmth pooling in her stomach. She remembers, the bright hazel eyes and red hair spilling over a bare shoulder, the heat that left her gasping, a girl's breathy moans.

"If you want to play, we'll go inside," Anna warns, her grin equally sharp. Aiko gazes at her with slight shock and Anna's smile melts deep into her and swells and swells.

"Play what?" Zuko asks, startlingly her away from Aiko. Her face flushes a deeper red as he casts a shadow over her face. He glistens slightly under the sun and Anna feels the sharp sting of Aiko's nails on the palm of her hand.

"Nothing," she mutters. She glares up at him, wondering how his 16 years haven't made him an awkward mess of limbs like her. He glances to her side, eyes lingering on the faded color of Aiko's dress, before staring at her again. Anna scowls, daring him to say anything. She hates this part of him, hates how his eyes skim past servants, how he sees something different and dismisses it. She wants to shout at him, pull his ear and hair like she did when they were children. He doesn't look all that attractive, anymore.

"You've been avoiding me," he says, kneeling in front of her, knees knocking into hers. There's a power to it, having a prince kneel before her. She likes it more than she should.

"I've been busy. There's money to made and little time to do it," she says, casually, still angry at his dismissal of Aiko. He frowns, leaning forward to tug a lock of her hair.

"I wanted to talk to you," his voice is soft and Anna bites at the words on the tip of her tongue.

"I'm sorry," she says because she cannot bring herself to tell him that she knew his cousin would die. He nods, head drooping low so he could hide his eyes from her. She catches the glint of water anyway, the tears that escape from his eyes before he wipes them away.

"Come on. We'll go to my house and have tea," she says, standing. Aiko looks at her lazily, still stretched out beneath the summer sun. Anna smiles, leaving her parasol for the girl and the dango in its box by her side. She pulls Zuko to his feet, ignoring the wink Aiko sends her way as they leave.

They walk back to her house in silence, a slight notice-me-not charm hiding them from any gossipmongers. He pauses when they get there, glancing at the flag before her house which, is still at half-mast weeks after Iroh's return.

"A lot of people died, it would be unfair not to honor them too," she says, pulling him to the walkway that wraps around the house. Zuko is silent, at first, a stillness to his body that seeps out with every step they take.

"They shouldn't have died. We send them off to get them killed and then pretend like it's all okay when we're burying hundreds of soldiers a day. I don't get it. Lu Ten was the crown prince, he shouldn't have been near the fighting to begin with," his voice cracks at his cousin's name and he looks away from her again.

"Maybe, he didn't want to hide behind his armies. Imagine if we had won, he would have come back a hero," she says, because she doesn't know what else to say.

"What does it matter? He's dead, he's dead and..."

"I know. I know it hurts and it feels like you can't breathe right but, you go on despite it. You're a prince, Zuko. Maybe even, the future Fire Lord. You can't fall apart like I did."

"It's not fair."

"No, it's not. Neither of us asked for this but, we have a duty to ourselves and our nation to uphold."

He won't look at her still, so she stretches on her toes, pulling him into a tight hug. His chin rests on her shoulder, face buried in the curve of her neck, sweat staining the dress she wears. His shoulders shake and he clings to her.

I'm sorry, she thinks, so sorry. She could have saved him, could have gone to Ba Sing Se, could have ended this war. All that power, all this magic, and she's still weak. Her grip on him tightens. She won't lose anyone else. Not him, not Aiko, not Sakiko. This is the only family she has left, she won't lose them to war.

When he stops crying and his breathing comes in a steady stream, she pulls him up, grasping his chin like Aiko had done to her and wipes away his tears. He's taller than her by an inch, and this close she can see that his lips are slightly cracked and the hollow beneath his cheekbone. His eyes are red and glassy and swollen.

"We'll make sure no one else dies like Lu Ten did, okay?"

It's a promise she intends to keep.

* * *

It is when Fire Lord Azulon dies and leaves the Nation in the hands of Ozai that Anna's rage dies to a deep coldness, the kind that sinks below the ocean and stings your skin.

There are things about her Nation that still make her proud and she does not think they were wrong in entering the war to begin with but, this is a crime. This is a crime, an act against the betterment of the Nation and Ozai is at its spearhead. The wrongness of it sinks inside her, grasps at her core pulling like an anchor and Anna drowns in it. There is a foul taste in her mouth, bitter and stale. She cannot pretend to love her Nation anymore, because she knows that it was this nation that killed her father. She can't love it, not unconditionally, not in the face of all its wrongdoings.

She does not visit Zuko.

She instead seeks out the Princess.

Azula lays on the rich red covers of her bed, feet dangling in the air, an air of nonchalance hanging around the girl. When she meets Anna's gaze, a sharpness hidden in her eyes, Anna cannot help but frown.

"Have you come to say congratulations?" she asks, not glancing away from Anna's stiff shoulders.

"No, there isn't anything to congratulate you on," the words are quick and cold.

"Zuzu's a prince now, a real one. My father is Fire Lord and my fat uncle got what he deserved."

"Lord Ozai's crown cost you your mother. I don't think that warrants any celebration," Anna says, disturbed at the princess's lack of care.

"She would have held us back anyway."

"She was your mother, Azula. You shouldn't talk about her like that."

"You know, it almost sounds like you didn't want my father to be Fire Lord."

"I'm just confused," Anna admits truthfully, her brow scrunching, "Azulon never indicated that he wou-"

"For your own good, you should stop talking. Azulon was old, he had to choose the best son to take the throne. Unless you think that something else happened."

"I'm sorry about your mother, that's all I wanted to say. When I lost my mother, everything seemed wrong, like the world had shifted sideways. It must be hard to lose your grandfather and mother at the same time."

"Not really. Zuzu's the crybaby. My father should have gotten rid of him when he had the chance."

Anna's frown deepens and the urge to strike the girl comes quick and harsh. Her fingers twitch behind her back, jaw clenching. Azula smiles at her, a taunting grin that reminds her of Draco. Anna feels the hatred; the spite rises in her throat until she swallows it down.

"I need to go," she turns, not bothering with formalities, and flees from the room. Azula is still a girl, a girl whose lost her mother, a girl whose grasp with power exists only because of her birth and Zuko is all that stands between her and more.

* * *

Anna slips into his bed at night. She presses her face against his shaking back, wraps her arms around him, make sure that he knows that she's there. She would never hate him. She would have him like this broken and splintered to his very soul. She would have him whole and filled with summer laughs. She did not know how to tell him this. Nothing seemed large enough to house the feeling that ran deep in her bones. He reaches for her hand, almost as if he had heard her thoughts. She does not need to look. The rough feeling of calluses slides against her hand, palm pressed against hers.

"Anna," he says. He does not trip over the syllables like others do. It says it gently and it is no longer a foreign word, a reminder of a girl she is not, but a name. Her name.

"Is she dead?"

He sobs, again. Another name to add to her list, another promise broken. She doesn't know what to do so, she just talks.

"My dad wasn't around much. I guess, that's why I always talk about him. I knew that he loved us, that everything he did was for us, but, he was always working. My mom was always there. She, gods, she was there when I first learned to firebend and she had this smile on her face that just stuck. It was like I had lit the world up or something. She always smelled good, like lotion and she'd rub the rest on my hands because she always put too much on. I loved her so much it hurts. I get so scared that I'll forget her voice or the way her teeth were a little crooked when she smiled."

Zuko turns around, and she hisses as his leg tangle with hers, bumping against her bruised knee. He's changed since she last saw him, there's a tightness to his face, a deep sorrow hidden in his eyes. It's like looking into a mirror. It scares her more than anything.

He tells her though, how his mother taught him to feed turtleducks, the way her hair smelled like perfumed oils and how she never let anyone touch her gardens and her hands were callused from pulling weeds all day. He laughs when he tells her of Ember Island and how much his mother loved watching the plays, no matter how bad they were.

She's happy that he can still laugh.

* * *

There's a hole in her father's record and it starts the week before her mother's death. She's broken into the army base near the palace and stole her father's military record. His conscription date, rank, and missions are all accounted for. Witness testimonies and P.O.W. lists are tucked into the first few pages. It is the first time Anna realizes how powerful her father had been, how many towns had been renamed by him in the honor of a Fire Nation victory.

Her mouth twists downward into a frown, the deeper she gets into the record. There are court martials for her father's treatment of prisoners. A summons from Lord Azulon's head Generals in regards to an incident outside of Omashu, a list of admirals, captains, and lieutenants that had been in contact with her father, and then a list of cities, missions in the Earth Nation. The last thing in the file is a map of the Western Air Temple.

None of it mean anything, more than half the people listed with her father are strangers. She has no clearance for any of this information. She makes a copy of the file anyway and leaves the base, as silently as she came. She doesn't know what to do, doesn't know how to keep this act up. Her face hurts from smiling, and the constant chatter of the nobles makes her teeth gnash. She's the gunpowder lying at the end of burning string, waiting for the fuse to reach her so she can explode.

She needs Ozai to slip. She needs to find something, anything on him. The closer she seems to get the farther she is. But, she feels her chest expand and there's a light lingering in her gut that tells her she's in the right place, just missing pieces of the puzzle.

"I need your help," she says, words falling into the night. Death is by her side, seconds later. He's dressed right this time, a dull red Fire Nation uniform and black boots. He looks right too, not foreign like the Potter girl.

"It's not something I can tell you. I can't interfere with the living."

"Then what's the use of you? You knew Ozai was going to rule, you've known this whole time and you did nothing to stop it," she says, her voice sharp.

"Neither did you. Everything in your head, every little thought was put there by someone else. Your nation slaughters villages while you sleep in your silk sheets. And then you pretend like it's such a loss for you when some of your soldiers come back dead." His face grows colder, waxy as if the skin is stretched too tight over the bone beneath it.

"We didn't attack first! We defended ourselves after they killed innocent people."

"How are you like this? It's all in front of you, everything and still you refuse to look."

"I don't know what to do. I don't know why Ozai became Fire Lord. I don't know why my mother died. I don't know what my father did. I need help, please. Please, just help me," her voice gets louder and louder until she can't hold in her sobs. Eyes blurry, she presses the palms of her hands against her face, willing herself not to break.

"I can't tell you. You need to figure it out because, if you can't no one else will," eyes somber, he gives her shoulder a squeeze and disappears. Anna sinks against the wall, still shaking with sobs. Moments pass until she's able to stand and force her shaking fingers into a fist. She walks home with quick steps, heart still lurching in her chest. With each step, she feels like she's failed.

She doesn't notice the man following her, white hair stark against the dark of night. He walks with a stiff spine, shoulders pulled back, and his steps odd as if he was used to the ground shifting beneath his feet. It's not until she's home, hidden behind the white shōji, that he turns away and makes his way to the Palace.

* * *

A/N: Okay, for the timeline, I have changed a few things. In the show, Zuko is born 83 AG, here he will be born a couple years before that 80 AG (as is Anna). Zuko and Anna are currently 15 when Lu Ten dies. Zuko is banished at 17. Zuko will stay be banished for 2 years before finding Aang. Katara's, Toph's, and Aang's age will be the only ones to stay the same. Also, if anything is confusing or you notice any mistakes please let me know. I try and go back and edit the chapters once they are posted if reviewers let me know.

As always, please review.


	9. Perfect Places

_Every night, I live and die_

 _Lorde, Perfect Places_

* * *

Two springs pass and Anna grows. She grows in the dark, magic lighting the inside of her house, the softness of her arms hardening into muscle. Every day is a battle not to leave, not to abandon Aiko and Zuko, not to rid herself of the stain Ozai is spreading. She lives knowing that it is only her ties to Zuko that protect her. They wouldn't kill the crown prince's best friend. She makes herself visible, joining Zuko for dinner and attending events by his side. Despite it, no one whispers of marriage. Her mother was not of noble blood. And that is a stain that lives on in Anna.

"You're quiet," Zuko mutters next to her. His arm is wrapped around the back of her chair. His fingers tapping against her shoulder startle her from her thoughts. She turns, catching the slight frown on his face, and shakes her head.

"Sorry."

"What's wrong?" he asks, leaning closer. His eyes are bright against the warm glow of candlelight. Somewhere near them, she hears a soft sigh. She feels the burning stare of the others in the restaurant and plasters on a smile.

"It's nothing, Prince Zuko." His frown grows and Anna knows she's made a mistake. He turns away and finishes his meal in a stony silence. She rests her chopsticks next to the half-finished bowl of rice. She had been here before back when it was frequented by artists and writers and students. Now, the flickering candlelight bounces against empty chairs and the few nobles gathered here. She wishes they had taken Aiko with them but, even Anna will not cross the line of dining with servants in public. Her fingers tap against the table and she itches for a pen.

"You should have said you didn't want to come," Zuko says.

"I did. I do. I'm just tired," she sighs. The makeup brushed under her eyes hides the bruising bags beneath her eyes. Her face has taken on a sleepy, heavy-lidded look.

"You always are these days," he bites back.

"I'm surprised you're not. I would have thought being the crown prince was hard work."

"It's not like father tells me anything. It's just lessons and listening to people complain."

"You father will rule for a while. He's trying to make sure that you are fit to rule when he dies. Lu Ten probably had to do the same." The words taste like ash in her mouth but, the reminder of his cousin quiets Zuko's grumbles. She wonders what life would be like if they hadn't been nobles. Quiet, probably. She would not have to be here, listening to the scathing words of women three times her age. Zuko would be happy, properly happy. Aiko would be free, a friend, rather than a servant. It is the last thought that makes Anna push her food away. Aiko is three times the woman she is. Aiko, lovely Aiko, would have been free to flirt and yell and talk. Ozai's noose is tighter over the lower class than anyone else. Nobles are afforded a sense of freedom, Aiko doesn't have that. She would whisk her away, let her come to Shu Jing with her, sail across the oceans, if it meant that she had the freedom she deserves.

"You're not happy," Zuko says, his face blank and for a startling second, he looks just like his father. Her shoulders tighten, hand curling around her chopsticks. Her mouth curls into a frown, brow burrowing.

"How can I be? When was the last time we were let out of this stupid, fucking cage? We can't go to the lower city. I can't leave leave Caldara at all without a permit."

"Do you want to leave?" His eyes widen then narrow, staring at her as if he hadn't ever seen her before. For a moment, they are strangers. Anna can't help but, hate him for being selfish, for believing so easily in his father. She can't see the same boy who had hugged her at her mother's funeral.

"I don't want to stay," she says. His face falls and he leans forward, looking older than he should. This is what he will look like as Fire Lord, weary and world-broken.

"I'll get you a pass. Aiko too." It's the first time he's said her name and Anna's lip trembles. Zuko eyes run over her face and he smiles. Tugging her close, he presses her face against his shoulder to shield her from their audience. Her tears darken the red of his jacket.

"I'm sorry," she says.

"No, Anna. I've known you weren't happy for a long time. I tried to change that but, I think it's this place. It's poisoning you and I love you too much to force you to stay."

Her shoulders shake, a soft choking noise leaving her throat as his grip tightens on her. She feels something cold, brush her spine, something that slithers like oil. She doesn't move to watch the man, visible only to her, trace a word onto her back.

Hurry.

* * *

Admiral Jeong Jeong is a good sensei and a better friend. Though the man frequently spouts bullshit wisdom, he's kind in a rough way that reminds Anna of her father. He has an odd obsession with Pai Sho. Every game they play feels more like a battle. It makes Anna far wearier than actual firebending. Sometimes, he'll sneak her onto his ship, telling her old stories of him and her dad. They'll lay side by side and Anna will tell him about the stars from her world and the legends behind them. She finds out that he's not as proud of his war accomplishments as he is of winning bets.

He's not there as often as Sakiko was but, Anna learns far better under his surprise attacks and long drawn out lists of things to do when he's away. Her control has improved and when he returns from a raid in the Earth Nation with old healing scrolls, she astounded by the lack of innovation in her Nation. There are things like chakra and spirits and magic. Anna's almost tempted to show him what magic is really like.

The last time he comes back, there's a harshness to his expression, something bitter hidden in every word. Anna knows that this is the last time because he doesn't hand her any scrolls. He rests his hands on her shoulders. She doesn't comment on his trembling fingers or the new scar that cuts across his eyebrow. His eyes are wild, like an animal running from a forest fire.

"You're a good student. A good kid, too," he said.

"Thank you, Admiral Jeong Jeong"

"There's no need for that. I've told you before that firebending is a matter of will-power. You need to control it otherwise, it becomes the blade stuck between your ribs."

"That was almost on par with General Iroh," she banters. The smile he gives her is brittle and Anna feels the need to tell him that she is leaving too. She tells him instead of Prometheus, who had stolen fire and paid for it.

* * *

Sakiko knows that she is leaving the moment she enters the room. Age has taken hold of her. Wrapped in old quilts, she looks smaller than Anna had ever remember. Tears sting at her eyes because, Sakiko will die without her there. Anna trembles before the woman, falling to her knees at her side.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all I said to you, for not listening," Anna says. Sakiko laughs, the sound rattling in her chest.

"Get up, girl. And wipe your eyes, you look like a raccoon-fox."

Anna wipes away the make-up smeared under her eyes, and laughs at the scolding she gets for ruining the silk of her dress. She lays her head by Sakiko's, running her hand through the thin wisps of hair on Sakiko's head.

Under the low glow of candle-light, Anna tells Sakiko that's she going to the Earth Nation. She hasn't told Zuko, hasn't told Aiko either. The memory of her parents' deaths, of her father's records, still tugs at Anna. Everything had started with the Earth Nation attack: the renewed war effort, her father's court martial, Ozai's conquest. Nothing adds up and Anna is too far away to get proper information.

She'll be called a deserter.

She's not, she knows she's not.

She's doing this for her Nation.

"You're braver than you once were," Sakiko says, her voice warm.

"I always knew what we were doing is wrong. I just didn't want to see it until now."

"Most people would choose to ignore it anyway. But, you, you've loved this Nation too much to see it fall to ruin. Your parents would be proud of you. I'm proud of you, Anna."

* * *

Aiko doesn't say much when Anna tells her. Her arms tighten around Anna's waist, head burrowing in the folds of Anna's robes. The faint hint of lavender hanging from her skin fills the air. Anna's decided not to tell anyone else, a warning would give Ozai time to stop her. She finds herself hoping for the first time, excited even to see the world outside her Nation. What must it be like in the Earth Nation? Is Ba Sing Se really large enough to fit the capital in three times over? She wants to see what's left of the Air Nation Temples. There are things in this world that remind her of lands in Potter's world. Spices like curry that exist here too and she wonders how.

Aiko would be her friend, free to leave if she wants but, Anna hopes that she'll choose to stay. She's terrified of being alone, her grip tightening on the quiet girl, humming a low song under her breath. Aiko's breath softens, from the shuddering quiet sobs, head lolling off her shoulder and onto the pillow. Anna pushes her hair back, taking off Aiko's and settles into the space next to her.

She moves slightly, being careful not to wake her, resting her back against the wooden headboard, one hand tangled in Aiko's hair. Her room had always been the same, creamy walls, decorated in the same fashion as the palace. Her eyes linger on the small collection of letters on her desk, the letters that will go out in the morning after she leaves, dividing her estate to protect it from Ozai's hands. She'll miss this room. She doesn't want to forget what it smells like, the soft scent of incense mixed with the sharp hint of citrus. Even the comforter, with loose threads hanging off of it, makes her chest tighten and warm. It feels like sitting in the sun, with your skin too tight and warm sand pressed against your legs. Aiko's presence becomes more evident, an added weight to her side, and she could feel the smoothness of her legs brushing against her own/

Anna settles back down, blanket pulled to her chin and watches the clouds cover the moon outside her window. She remembers Zuko tripping her on the muddy ground when they were younger, hunched over laughing at her grass stained face, smearing mud on her head until her face was streaked brown, his elbow hitting her ribs, the shallow gasps as he struggled to breath between laughs. He's her friend. More than that even but, she can't find a word big enough. Her eyes stay glued to the inky blackness of the night sky. A calmness settles over her, lips pulling into a slight smile, as her mind empties, thoughts no longer running rampant.

* * *

The night before she leaves, permits tucked close to her breasts, Zuko is burned. She doesn't fully know what's happened. Agni Kai is a word whispered between all the servants and she knows that Ozai has done it. She doesn't know why. Her anger burns bright, scorching the floors of her house, magic brewing underneath her skin. She'll kill him.

The palace is bigger at night, an array of shadows growing from windowsills and low firelight mar the walls and ground. The guards are quick to ignore her, her father's memory held deep in their minds. She imagines that it hurts for them to look at her. It hurts more for her to be here.

Zuko is sleeping or pretending to be when she approaches. She feels the air hot around him, an angry stillness to his body. His hands twitch and he takes an unsteady breath before turning to face her. Anna's face is fixed in place, a false calmness hiding the storm that brews in her gut. The heat rises. The left side of his face is covered in stark white gauze, the edges bleeding red. She is at once sickened and furious at the sight. How can they follow a man who mutilates his own son? Her lips tighten as Zuko turns away. She wants badly to tell the prince all that is on her mind but the words are treason.

"Do not let them win," she whispers to him, her words tight with rage. It is hard to pretend. "I'm sorry this happened to you. I'm sorry he did this to you." There is a desperate need now, to tell the prince of what Ozai had done to her father. But her voice is silenced. Ozai is his father and she is just a girl.

She presses her palm against his, fingers interlacing with his until she's sure that she can feel his heartbeat in the palm of her head. His hands feel cold against her own.

"It's my fault," Zuko whispers.

"No. No, it's not. You didn't want to fight your father and your father should have never asked you to in the first place."

"I shouldn't have dishonored him. He told me to fight and I didn't, that's not something he did. That's on me, I did that."

"Do you think my father would have asked it of me or Iroh of Lu Ten? No, because they understood what it meant to be fathers. Zuko, Ozai was wrong. All of this is so wrong and what he's done to you is unforgivable."

"What would you know? Your father's dead, he's been dead for years."

"Forget it," Anna scoffs, pulling away from his side. "I'm just worried. When I heard, I thought he had killed you."

"Stop talking, Anna. Please."

She steps back at the anger in words. She wants to fix this, wants to heal him and take him with her. But, Zuko is on a different path than her. Her magic is too volatile to heal a burn from this world, it would slather off like oil on water. Still, her hands shake, glowing a soft gold before the clatter of a plate falling from Zuko's side table startles her. He's a stranger again, Ozai again. She frightened by this strange creature.

"Get out. Just go, Anna. I'm tired."

She leaves without a sound.

No goodbye.

Zuko is banished the same day that she leaves.

She doesn't look for him.

* * *

A/N: Next chapter we're going to be doing a bit of a time skip. I'm really excited for you guys to see what Anna gets up to in her exile.


	10. Pompeii

**_Warning: There are some graphic references to the genocide of the Airbenders in this chapter._**

* * *

 ** _Oh where do we begin?_**  
 ** _The rubble or our sins?_**

 ** _Pompeii, Bastille_**

* * *

The ship rocks steadily, making his stomach churn. The constant noise from the top deck has his head aching, and the few glimpses of sunlight forces him back into bed. The puckered skin around his eyes makes it hard to see. Everything is duller, blurry around the edges. He has to make do with the defect, adjusting his actions to make sure that he is not at a disadvantage.

The mirrors that might have been in his room are removed before he gets on the ship. He pretends to not notice the way people look at him. He hasn't seen it yet but, he can feel with every movement of his face that it's bad. The scar tissue tugs at the bright pink skin that has yet to heal.

What's worse, what hurts Zuko the most is the reminder that his father had done this.

Every ache he feels is a punishment he bears for dishonoring his family. Iroh won't say a word to him about the scar but, Zuko sees the way his eyes linger on the edge of the bandage. Has he dishonored him too? There are moments when he lays in bed, in a haze of sleep and dreams, and remembers Iroh's face in the moments before the fire had struck. He remembers the deep seeded lines pressing against the corners of his uncle's mouth.

There's nothing in the memory to prove that Zuko isn't a monster.

His father had given him more than a scar.

He had given him a warning, burning away whatever was left of his mother.

Zuko doesn't know where he ends, and his father begins.

* * *

When he first leaves the ship, they spend a week walking through forgotten fields, past small peasant villages into the cliffside that makes up the Western Air Temples. Zuko's breath is stolen away at the sight of the Temple. Squared buildings carved into the cliffs miles high, hang upside down over large statues. There are bridges with delicate arches connecting the buildings and structures underneath.

In the back of his mind, he cannot help but wonder how the firebenders had made the trip up the cliffs. He knows that the Southern Air Temple was the main source of conflict but, they had fought the Westerners first. They must have drawn them down from the cliffs and fought them on the ground.

But, there are no bodies on the ground when they cross the river. There is nothing for miles but green fields, covered in wild grass and wild flowers. A light mist hangs in the air, painting the sky, a cold, grey blue. It is a place so beautiful that his heart aches. Anna would have liked it.

It's a long climb, deep into the cliffside, a heavy fog covering the ground at their feet. The path gets narrower, bushes of wild vegetation covering it for several hundred feet. They stop the first night, setting up camp among the sparse trees. One of the men, a hunter from the colonies, volunteers to catch some of the rabbit-geese they spotted earlier in the day. The smell of grilled meat brings a sense of somberness over the camp. It's too close a reminder of home, this early on.

In the morning, they push harder, taking a path that leads into the back of the temple. Many of the structures are brunt and fallen stone. There is nothing but chaos here. He can't rectify the image melted stone, with the buildings he has seen carved into the cliffside. He can't imagine what kind of force it had taken to topple that.

The first bones they see are scattered apart. The knobby joint of an elbow, polished a smooth white, cracks underneath his foot. Farther ahead, a femur cracked in half. Zuko thinks nothing of it. They are close, he can feel it. His heart hammers in his chest at the thought of finding the avatar. Is it possible that the old man, hide himself here for a century? He hopes so. He hopes that the man he meets is too tired to fight, too old to pose a threat to him.

The sounds of crunching, echoes in his head the closer they get to the temple. There are too many bones scattered the higher they go. It's impossible to avoid stepping on them.

The path they take does not lead them directly to the temple but, to a secret escape route that had been used by the Fire Nation to launch an attack. It is where the heaviest damage had been done and he doubts that the Avatar would know about it.

The courtyard is piles of bodies. Some still wearing faded orange robes. His stomach lurches at the sight of a wooden horse tossed near a pile of scorched clothes, too small to belong to an adult. Iroh picks up a pair of shoes, tossed into the grass, small enough to fit in his hands.

"Where's the army?" Zuko asks.

"This was it," Uncle Iroh says, harshly.

"Spread out and look for any signs of the avatar. He'd be an old man by now," Zuko orders. He flinches at the heavy footsteps and rattling that fills the air as the soldiers move bodies from the back entrance.

"There's nothing here," Uncle says, softly. "They were all women, Prince Zuko. The avatar wouldn't have been here."

Zuko shakes his head, fist tightening. He has to look, he can't be merciful if he's going to catch the Avatar. The men move forward, pushing their way into the deepest parts of the temple. The men his father has given him are careless, pushing past rotting wood and breaking nearly everything, they find.

Zuko follows them in a haze. It's too much. His stomach lurches and all warmth escapes. How could they have done this? How? How? How?

"Stop. Stop," Uncle orders the men. Zuko shakes his head, thinking about Azula's words.

The room the men are searching is filled with cribs. Carved from a single slab of wood, each are different from the others. Small animals embedded into the foot and headboards, a twisting, angular script carved onto the sides.

A tutor of his had once claimed that the airbenders had their own script and language once. They had adopted the common tongue but, still kept to their own among masters and scholars. He has a hard time believing that they were that sophisticated

The overturn one of the cribs, a rotting bundle of blankets falling to the floor.

"Stop," Zuko orders, "there's nothing in this room. Move on and don't touch anything. The avatar wouldn't hide under a child's bed."

"Yes, sir," one of the men mutters solemnly. It's quiet as they move from room to room, a shadow hanging over them. Whatever this had been once, it was a tomb now. Bile rises to his mouth, acid lining his throat. His father had damned him to this. What honor would he find among the bones and bodies of children?

They never reach the front of the temple, a mountain of fallen stone cutting, off the main courtyards and some of the other rooms.

There is nothing here.

His body is cold as ice when they leave.

The fire known more to him than his own heartbeat is finally burnt out.

* * *

Aiko's back is pressed against her chest as they huddle together in the hull of the ship. They are somewhere deep in the Earth Kingdom, closer to the Water Tribes than Anna had ever imagined herself to be.

A part of her is excited, full of giddy anxiousness as if she had swallowed a can of worms. Anna tenses, shifting from beneath Aiko's hold. She misses her morning baths and the scented oils that servants would run through her hair. She misses the noise. In Caldara, the night had thrived, the soft hum of the lights, the sound of engines and smell of metal from the soldiers' quarters. It is too quiet here, the world too big.

"Stop thinking so much," Aiko mutters, warm eyes gazing up at her behind half-lidded eyes. Anna shifts, leaning up on her elbows to look down at Aiko. Her skin has gotten even darker from the sun, smoothing out the small blemishes that arose from the smoky air in the Capital. She's lined her eyes with day-old kohl, making the brown look lighter, more gold than Anna had ever noticed before.

"I can't help it."

"You have these pirates eating out of your palm, Anna" she says, rolling her eyes. She says her name slowly, each syllable falling from the edge of her tongue, An-na. She doesn't know what Death was thinking, keeping a name so Western, that despite her appearance, she's a foreigner everywhere she goes.

"They're just sad. They think we're refugees, victims of the Fire Nation."

"Aren't we though? Ozai would have killed us both."

"If only…" Anna says, with no real bite to her words. Aiko scoffs, giving Anna a quick shove. Anna shifts away, cracking her back and standing up. The green dress Aiko had bought from a peasant family is slightly long on her. Anna bunches up the corner and ties it into a knot. Her hair is shorter now because what commoner could afford to wash their hair as often as she used to.

"Where are you going?" Aiko asks, lounging on the wooden floor as if she were modelling for a painting.

"They said we would dock today," Anna replies. She laughs as Aiko quickly stands, nearly tripping over the thin sheet. The girl rushes up the stairs onto the deck, leaving Anna to fold the tidy their bags and makeshift bed.

* * *

A/N: Zuko makes my heart hurt and a small glimpse into Anna's journey. We'll get more from her next chapter and a little more insight into why she was sent here and a bit more about Anna Potter.

P.S. Sorry about the spotty updates, real life and a lack of motivation is a nightmare combination. Also, let me know about any typos or if I'm stepping on any toes.


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